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NOTE – This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, 4-generation group sheet, and current medical report from your doctor. Current temple recommend will be accepted as extra credit.
Name: _________________________ Date of birth: ________
Height: _____ Weight: _____ IQ: _____ GPA: _____
Social Security #: ___________ Driver's License #: _________
Boy Scout Rank:_______________________________________
If less than Eagle, explain: ______________________________________
Home address: ________________________________________________
Work address: ________________________________________________
Wage or salary: _____________________
Do you have one male and one female parent? Yes _____ No _____
If no, explain: _______________________________________________
Number of years parents married: _____
Check all that you own:
a van _____
a truck with oversized tires and/or camper shell _____
waterbed _____
motorcycle _____
Check all that you have:
color-altered hair _____
tatoo _____
piercings _____
(Note: If you checked any of the above, discontinue application and leave premised immediately.)
Please enclose answers to the following essay questions on separate paper, typeset in 10 point helvetica, single spaced, three-page minimum.
What does late mean to you?
What do the words do not touch my daughter mean to you?
What does abstinence mean to you?
What ward do you attend? ________________
How often do you attend? _____/week
When would be the best time to interview your father, mother, and bishop?
Fill in the blanks: Please answer freely; all answers are confidential.
A women's place is in the _______________
The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is _________________________________________________________
When I first meet a girl, the first thing I notice is _____________________ (Note: If the answer to the above is covered by a Victorian Era swimsuit, discontinue and leave the premises immediately. Keeping your head low and running in a serpentine fashion is advised.)
What do you want to be IF you grow up? _________________________
Do you plan to attend a BYU, BYU-I, or BYU-H? _____________
I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, AND RED HOT POKERS.
________________________________________________
Signature (that means sign your name)
Thank you for your interest. Please allow four to six years for processing. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write (such action will void this application). If your application is rejected you will be notified by two beings wearing red suits and carrying pitch forks. (You might want to start praying now.)
Alison Moore Smith is a 61-year-old entrepreneur who graduated from BYU in 1987. She has been (very happily) married to Samuel M. Smith for 40 years. They are parents of six incredible children and grandparents to two astounding grandsons. She is the author of The 7 Success Habits of Homeschoolers.
That was so funny! Was this on the other site? I never saw it.
Yes, it was. But I think the dynamic nature of the new pages will make things easier to find.
I love it, too. I have four daughters, so the screening process is a very serious issue. 🙂
Hah! Where are the smilies! I need them.
That was great. I can definitely relate. LOL
OK, I must say, this is original… But I have 2 questions to ask you:
1. What ever happened to “love”?
2. Doesn’t your daughter have a say in who she dates?
But I must give you props for originality.
Eugene, it’s parody. Mostly.
Please allow 4 to 6 years for processing ha ha…that seems to sound like and endless wait 😛 lol..BTW what will you be using to process the application
A crossbow. 😉
Lol, at first I thought it was completely serious.
Hahaha! Thank you very much for the good laugh! On the lighter side, this application letter is very tempting hahaha!
Thanks again!
Tina =)
Ha ha ha! That’s so funny. Thanks a lot for making me lough.