I hate Twitter. OK, I don't get it. I'm totes on there and all. Tweeter me at @AlisonMSmith. But I probably won't answer because I don't really know how. I can't follow conversations and brevity is not my strong suit. Why is this a thing, anyway?
The only time I had any kind of Twitter success was when Facebook went down last winter and I had a brilliant way to deal with my anxiety.
My name is Alison. I am a survivor. I am broadcasting on all frequencies. If you are out there…if anyone is out there… #facebookdown
— Alison Moore Smith (@AlisonMSmith) January 27, 2015
And to be clear, “Twitter success” for me means 23 retweets and 64 favorites. I'm on fire.
In spite of my ineptwittertude, someone messaged me a funny hashtag (another new fangled convention that I barely grasp) distracted me from my otherwise desperate life pondering a hopeless future with either Hillary or The Donald. Today I share some joy. I don't even know exactly how #ThugMormon got started. Something about a BYU football player (who isn't a Mormon) getting arrested, I think, and a radio host solemnly noting just how freaking thuggish Mormons are. (Feel free to correct this rough sketch with the truth in the comments.) Then the idea of our natural propensity to be criminally negligent took on a life of its own. Behold the badness.
I sit on the end of the church pew even though the whole row is empty and I'm 20 minutes early. #ThugMormon — Ryan Murphy (@thenameisroy) September 3, 2015
Hung out in nursery to talk to my friends instead of going to GD class #ThugMormon
— Thug Mormon Wife (@apurposefulwife) September 3, 2015
I got my driver's license before my Eagle Scout award because I'm a #thugmormon — Zach Manwaring (@zbyumanwaring) September 3, 2015
#thugmormon life pic.twitter.com/ndDkXt59fB
— bdilly (@dillidalley) September 2, 2015
I walked in to sacrament meeting AFTER the doors were shut. #ThugMormon — Ryan Murphy (@thenameisroy) September 3, 2015
My wife never uses a center piece in her Relief Society lessons because she's a #thugmormon
— Zach Manwaring (@zbyumanwaring) September 3, 2015
All they had in the vending machine was Barqs with caffeine in it. So I got one for me…and one for my twins. #ThugMormon — Ryan Murphy (@thenameisroy) September 3, 2015
Paying tithing on net instead of gross. #thugmormon
— Brian Maxwell (@TheBMax) September 3, 2015
I chew gum on Fast Sunday! #ThugMormon — #ThugMormon (@Collin86) September 2, 2015
Hey @FoxOnABox_ I used to sing the opposite words in “Once There Was A Snowman” so I would grow when everyone else melted. #ThugMormon
— Nick 1 Day Park (@sput_nick) September 2, 2015
Said he was going to think of Lightning McQueen instead of Jesus during the sacrament. #ThugMormon pic.twitter.com/nxfZJxvEFZ — Jenny Garrard (@jennygarrard) September 2, 2015
When being helped with the prayer growing up. If I didn't like what was whispered in my ear. I would shake my head and say no. #ThugMormon
— Jed Pollock (@JPPollock) September 2, 2015
I once got ejected from church ball. #thugmormon — The Sports Bros (@SportsBros) September 2, 2015
I wear a blue dress shirt occasionally to church. #ThugMormon
— Wes Holley (@wesholley) September 2, 2015
2 minutes late for PEC Meeting #ThugMormon — #ThugMormon (@Collin86) September 2, 2015
my kids' names are all spelled normally #thugmormon
— HawsP (@HawsP) September 2, 2015
I got a speeding ticket 20 years ago #ThugMormon — BOSO LEVU (@TrueBlueNoU) September 2, 2015
I've read “I Nephi having been born of goodly parents” 46,298 times, but the Isaiah chapters about 1.5 times. #ThugMormon
— Ryan Murphy (@thenameisroy) September 3, 2015
Teardrop tattoo for every person I baptized on my mission. #ThugMormon
— Brian Townsend (@cashsavior) September 3, 2015
Maybe I'll sustain you by the show of my uplifted hand, maybe I won't. #ThugMormon
— Brian Townsend (@cashsavior) September 3, 2015
Rollin' with only one month of food storage. #ThugMormon
— Brian Townsend (@cashsavior) September 3, 2015
Porter Rockwell. #ThugMormon pic.twitter.com/CjlsS4qrGM
— Jarom Jordan (@jaromjordan) September 2, 2015
Sing in the choir just for the comfy seat at Stake Conference. #ThugMormon
— Melissa Davis (@MelissaHasBooks) September 4, 2015
Family Home Evening on Sunday night instead of Monday. #thugmormons #thugmormon
— andrewhowlett (@andrewhowlett) September 4, 2015
I go to In n Out Burger on Sunday night at 11:59 instead of waiting for midnight to pass #ThugMormon
— Things Mormons Like (@TheMormonLikes) September 3, 2015
I take three pieces of bread during the Sacrament on Fast Sunday. #ThugMormon
— Robby McCombs (@rtmccombs) September 2, 2015
How to be a #ThugMormon: https://t.co/XA58MKqV6i
— Jody Genessy (@DJJazzyJody) September 2, 2015
I pay my tithing… In all pennies. #ThugMormon
— Emma Katherine (@memzy1020) September 4, 2015
I memorize the answers to the temple recommend questions. #ThugMormon
— Alison Moore Smith (@AlisonMSmith) September 4, 2015
Tonight Im going to a bunch of restaurants to ask if theyll change the channel from the Utah game to "something more uplifting." #ThugMormon
— Kelby Jones (@joneskelby) September 3, 2015
May the thug be with you. This day and always.
“All of my kids’ names are spelled normally.”
I am dying!!! X-D
Hahahaha. We Mormons are funny. We have to be good at something sinless!
I needed a laugh this morning. Wishing I had some thugmormon muscles while I am trying to move JUNK out of our thugmormon house so we can actually do some upgrading after all the damage our bazillion thugmormon kids did to our house! I loved this….!
When I sustain someone in Church, I sometimes raise my left hand.
Earl, you’ve got it. If you tweet that, I’ll add it to the post!
Alison Moore Smith recently posted…BYU Football: No More Carl’s Jr.
Hahaha! These are hilarious! I need to go do some of that re-tweeting business. (Although I don’t know how to either 🙂 ) Thanks for sharing!
~Chaun from http://www.hiccupsandpastries.com
Haha, when you live in Utah and do not cheer for BYU…