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These gems were contributed by Mormon Momma readers. Feel the peeve!
It drives me crazy when…
- people call the youth program for females “Young Women's” instead of “Young Women.” (I'd elaborate, but I have to go to Relief Society's now.)
- church choirs use photocopies of copyrighted music.
- people believe that Saturday's Warrior is a doctrinal essay. [Addendum: 13 years after this post was written, my daughter starred as Julie Flinders in the film remake of this cult classic. I adore the movie (and my daughter's role) and, yet, this opinion holds firm.]
- refusing to read the clear, concise Handbook of Instructions, ward leaders insist upon having men give all opening prayers and women give all closing prayers.
- families believe they own a particular pew in the chapel.
- individuals sit on the front row during Sacrament Meeting, not because they want to be up close and personal with the speakers, but so that they get the sacrament bread when it has been only minimally contaminated by cooties.
- people ask or answer questions in Gospel Doctrine using their “general authority voice.”
- those who, after accepting a calling, claim the bishop told them that three other auxiliaries were “fighting over me.”
- people ward-hop, looking for soon-to-be-available leadership positions.
- my husband doesn't want me to socialize after a ward party, because he's afraid he'll get stuck on clean-up crew.
- a lesson's suggested questions are so obvious as to cause embarrassment to potential answerers (i.e. “Is it good to worship idols?”)
- I am forced to be involved—in any way, shape, or form—with anything related to Primary (because my entire life is…Primary).
- those with musical talent are never called to any position other than chorister/pianist/music chairman.
- those with musical talent hide it as long as they can…to avoid never being called to any position other than chorister/pianist/music chairman.
- the toddler in the pew directly behind us has way cooler toys than my toddler.
- people start a talk by saying, “I've been asked to talk about ______________.” (Really, now, if we can't tell what you're talking about just by listening to you, perhaps you ought to try a little rewrite.
- Home, Family, and Personal Enrichment Night is still twisted into make-it-take-it-craft-night—no matter how little the actual topic has to do with anything kitschy.
- I realize that I can never, ever have my most favorite of all earthly callings again…because it no longer exists. (Home & Family Education Teacher in Relief Society, if you must know.)
- I realize I can never, ever have my second most favorite of all earthly callings again…because it would, undoubtedly, not provide enough “opportunities for growth” unless it was something I didn't really want to do.
- I miss the announcement that only one verse of the hymn will be sung and boldly begin soloing on the second verse.
- the only seat left in Sacrament Meeting is where Fruit Loops, chocolate chips, raisins, mini marshmallows, and/or gummy bears have been artfully smashed into the carpet/pew/hymnal along with a generous sprinkling of glitter, zillions of 1/8 inch metallic stars and/or smeared gel pen contents.
- the Sunday after Christmas the Scout Committee expects me to fork over $200 per son for Scout Camp in the coming late summer.
- auxiliary leaders approach you after you've been sustained to let you know they fought over who got to have you, and they lost! (Hello? Didn't you read peeve #8?)
- half the kids in the nursery are half dead, but present anyway because their moms didn't dare call in ten minutes before their teaching assignments to say little Monique is running a temp of 106°, sprouting oozing welts over 3/4 of her body, and doesn't seem to have a palpable pulse, therefore (gulp!) a substitute will have to be found—otherwise the entire Plan of Salvation will just have to be rescinded for a week.
- the attendance of a sick child at church (or any other possible problem) is naturally blamed on the wife.
- after hugging you ecstatically and kissing your three-day-old baby, your visiting teacher mentions she has acute and possibly terminal viral bronchitis and Asian Flu.
- already bloated auxiliaries get one more person from the “prime list.”
- people have the audacity to vocalize the existence of the “prime list.”
- someone in the ward thinks every hymn is his/her solo, and wails it out like an operatic aria.
- musically uneducated folks presume that the trained vocalist is “wailing” because of a faulty comparison to the congregational “mumblers.”
- Sacrament Meeting Mumblers can't stand the fact that some members love to sing hymns of praise with enthusiasm.
- men are stuck in priesthood meetings in a back room, while the Relief Society sister have their own, specially decorated room with comfortable chairs. [Editor's note: This peeve implies that the men would actually decorate a room if given a chance. Ever seen a table cloth in Elder's Quorum?]
- activities are assigned thusly: Relief Society make invitations, plan activities, make advertising posters, decorate, cook, serve, and clean up all food items; Priesthood set up tables, put away tables.
- ward activities and even Priesthood Quorum activities (!) include only assignments for the women of the ward to cook and bring food.
- men ask their wives to make cookies to take to their home teaching families.
- families come to church with six out of seven kids sick with the flu, thus infecting every other families' children.
- people say, “The church is even more true since I became engaged.”
- others assume that every single person just needs to “find a good man/woman” and so proceeds to set up blind dates between completely mismatched couples.
- others believe that being single means you should date every other single in the ward—whether or not you have anything in common with them.
- speakers promote Mormon myths and urban legends as truth.
- speakers don't care whether or not the story they told is true, as long as it makes people cry and otherwise emote.
- youth leaders confuse emotionalism with feeling the Spirit.
- people think “Johnny Lingo” should be added to modern-day scripture.
- people call Utah “Zion.”
- people get their knickers in a twist about the Utah=Zion terminology, even though it has been repeatedly (and was probably first) used by prophets and other church leaders.
- members claim that every PG-13 movie is acceptable viewing since its “Not R-rated.”
- members claim that it's acceptable to watch R-rated movies “because the MPAA ratings system is totally messed up anyway.”
- 18-year-old girls profess to be “tired of the single scene” and just “want to find an RM to take them to the temple.”
- new members claim that their ward “isn't very warm or friendly,” but refuse any and all invitations and don't participate in any ward functions.
- people selectively refuse callings they deem unworthy of their royal highnesses.
- youth leaders are more worried about nurturing the wayward kids than supporting those who are actually trying to follow the gospel.
- deacons wear Sponge Bob or Wiley Coyote ties while passing the sacrament.
- members of the church outside of Utah make nasty, comparative comments about “Utah Mormons.”
- people announce hymns by page number, rather than by hymn number. (Ever wonder why there are way more pages than actual hymns?)
- we leave out the last verse of a hymn that needs all verses to be complete, because it's not worded in the staff.
Alison Moore Smith is a 61-year-old entrepreneur who graduated from BYU in 1987. She has been (very happily) married to Samuel M. Smith for 40 years. They are parents of six incredible children and grandparents to two astounding grandsons. She is the author of The 7 Success Habits of Homeschoolers.
OUCH! and again I say, OUCH! I have to admit, I have never observed 95% of these pet peeves. I’ve been a member 12 years, so while I am not a “lifer”, I have been a member for all of my adult life and I’ve been around the block a time or two. Were these really sent in by lots of different people? I guess I understand that we all have little issues with the things that get under our skin (and I admit I totally agree about the passing on of urban legends as truth and confusing emotional feelings with feeling the Spirit–though why is it the youth leaders are taking all the blame for this??), but some of these seem so hugely critical. I guess I need to examine myself–are there times when I am missing out on what the Lord can teach me because I am focusing on the first sentence of someone’s talk?
<< ?people start a talk by saying, I ?ve been asked to talk about ______________. ? Really now, if we can ?t tell what you ?re talking about just by listening to you, perhaps you ought to try a little rewrite.>>
you know, I’ve often struggled over the beginning and end of my talks. For me, that is the hardest part. And many times, I’ve thought, “you know what? who cares what the first sentence is? the first sentence is not the whole talk so I don’t need to be brilliant for every single word of the talk.” hmmmm, now I wonder. . . 😉
<< ?individuals sit on the front row during Sacrament Meeting not because they want to be up, close and personal with the speakers but so that they get the sacrament bread when it has been only minimally contaminated by cooties.>>
do people actually advertise that they do this??
<< ?people ward-hop, looking for soon-to-be-available leadership positions.>>
again, do people REALLY do this? I mean, there are people actually seeking after leadership positions? Do they bring a resume and references when they visit? You know, sometimes we get a little short of people for callings here in the Midwest, maybe (if you know these people) you could suggest they move to Jackson County (but only if they are willing to send references ahead of time!)
<< ?already bloated auxiliaries get one more person from the prime list. ? ?people have the audacity to vocalize the existence of the prime list. ?>>
Okay, I have seen plenty of irritation among leadership when it seems like one particular auxiliary gets all the “good” people. Is there actually a prime list? I assumed it was an LDS urban legend?? I mean, I’ve been in leadership positions before. There are times when I was told I could consider anyone except an auxiliary president for a particular calling and times when I was told to limit my prayers to just a few people.
<< ?deacons wear Sponge Bob or Wiley Coyote ties while passing the sacrament.>>
okay, this is a serious question here, are there guidelines limiting the kind of ties men wear also?? So far, my son just has one plain navy blue tie (which we can only find about once per month), but I would totally buy him a Sponge Bob tie if I saw one at a good price. Is this a real no-no or a preference or a Mormon culture thing? Seriously, it took me a long time to be supportive of my husband wearing only white shirts just because I think men look so nice in other colors. What are appropriate tie guidelines? paisley, strips and geometric designs only? no cartoon characters allowed? what about sports ties?
Jennycherie, I think most of these were tongue-in-cheek…it’s a humor piece. Exaggeration, etc. Although a lot of them do ring kind of true.
Regarding the seeking positions thing – I haven’t seen anyone actually ward hop to seek position, but I’ve definitely seen people “campaigning” for them.
I get that, but humor has its basis in reality or it wouldn’t be funny. . . 😉
Yes, they were. The original piece was posted in 2003 with the advent of Mormon Momma. I used to have an email address just for this and as people passed on their peeves, I added them. You’ll notice that often someone would send in a peeve and then someone else would counter it.
I think because they are the most guilty of using this manipulation? Adults simply aren’t as influenced by it, generally, as youth. Anyone else remember, “I’ll Build You a Rainbow?”
That said, most of those you specifically mentioned were mine. :confused: So I’ll take the flogging. 🙂
I have a friend who has a degree in English. Mispronunciations (like “paradisiacal”) drive her nuts. I had a friend who was a hairdresser so comb-overs and bad dyes bothered her. A guy in my ward is a chiropractor and so particular shoes, people jogging, etc., irritate him.
My degree happens to be in applied business (applied to musical theater, specifically), so things I have some level of expertise in are things I notice more. When people conduct music in the wrong time signature, it grates on me. This opening breaks one of the first commandments of oral interpretation. Another opening that makes me crazy is: “If you look up ___________ in the dictionary ?”
Anyone else seen the DVD Latter-day Night Live? You know the guy who does the mock Sacrament Meeting talk? I nearly bust a gut on that.
Yes. A family in my ward in Boca did this and was very vocal about the reason. I have heard of others who did the same from other people.
Again, yes. At ward council one month (when I was RS president), Bishop Cherrington told us that a couple had visited our ward and approached him. They asked, “We are thinking of moving into your ward and are wondering if there are any leadership positions opening up.” Obviously he did not tell us who had said it, but did stress that it wasn’t an appropriate tactic.
This wasn’t my peeve, but sure there is. I’d say, however, it’s more along the lines of “the unwritten order of things.” 😉
Also not mine. There have been multiple statements about appropriate dress, reverence, not being distracting, etc. Someone who has/had a deacon can surely be more specific about what level these came from and what was said.
An interesting topic all on its own. There is no declaration requiring only white shirts for men generally. The only statement I could find at all was referencing those specifically administering the sacrament and missionary dress policy. I buy my husband many colors of dress shirts, including white.
I have to say this is all very interesting and reminds me again of how different each of us area–it’s interesting, sometimes annoying, sometimes entertaining, sometimes frustrating but never boring. I just recently started back to work outside the home part-time and felt like I’d been living in a cave and all of the sudden, here were all of these different (sometimes in a good way, sometimes not!) people. I’m always amazed (both in and out of the church) at the things that people do that make me say, “why would anyone do that?” (like shop for a calling at church or stuff a package of t-bones behind the doritos at the store). I can only imagine that to the people who were sitting up front to avoid the cooties, it probably seemed reasonable to them (and why aren’t the rest of you worried about cooties?? don’t you care about germs?? don’t you want to protect your family’s health??) and perhaps some of my oddities (really, I can’t imagine what they would be :wink:) would stand out to the cootie-haters. :shamed:
by the way, I have no idea exactly what you are talking about when you reference “I’ll build you a rainbow” but when my mom took me to Branson a few years ago, we saw The Hughes Brothers perform. Mom chose them because she had heard they had great harmony. Anyway, there was one particularly syrupy story/song called, “I’ll build you a rainbow.” No disrespect intended to any who love it but it was a serious sugar overload for me. I felt like I needed a shot of insulin afterwards to regulate my system. :shocked:
Oh jenn, jenn, jenn…… you poor, unfortunate soul. You missed “I’ll Build You A Rainbow”!
You joined the church too late to experience this incredible, cinematic piece of brilliance!!!
—-NOT!!!
It was this incredibly cheesy church filmstrip back in the 70’s (the kind with still photography and narration, and you manually turn a handle on the film projector to change from picture to picture). It was what my husband and his family would call “Michael Landon dumb-sad”
I tried to look it up on line and actually found 2 links. One is actually the entire “script” word for word from the film.
The other is a little commentary by Eric Snider— I love his stuff! He does alot of parodies of LDS music from the 70’s.
You ought to go and look them up– in fact, I do it in that order too. First read the script, then read the commentary. It’s pretty funny.
Once you do, you can consider yourself a true Mormon. 🙂 (And all this time you thought you already were!) :shocked:
By the way— tell me you’ve seen Johnny Lingo!!
Okay- I have to make an amendment to my previous post. Eric’s comments aren’t just pretty funny— they’re tear-evoking-hysterical! I just went back to read it again– this time paying more attention and reading the entire thing– I just skimmed it before to make sure the story was in there, saw a few couple funny lines, and came back to Mormon Momma to make my post, planning to go back and really read his.
Ladies– I totally recommend that all those who’ve see “I’ll Build You a Rainbow” (and those who haven’t) should go and read it.
My side’s are hurting I was laughing so hard!!
Oh, thanks for the link to Eric Snider. I wondered what had happened to him since he “left” the Daily Herald.
I became a fan in his Daily Universe days.
…puppies with deformities….! Priceless!
I also had to say – regarding the cooties in the Sacrament. I’m one of those who sits on the front row (well, not literally the front, but the row right behind the deacons, usually). I do this not for the cooties in the Sacrament thing, but because my kids really are better behaved up there. My husband can give them the evil eye from the stand very easily right there. But really when you think about it, haven’t there been times when you’ve watched your children carry their drool from the Sacrament cup clear across the whole row of cups as they go to throw it in the middle? I say sitting at the front is a real bonus for that reason. 🙂
By the way, why don’t they put the disposal part of the Sacrament trays on the outside rather than the inside? That would be nice.
facethemusic,
I’m sorry but let me compose myself here for just a minute……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….. I Have not laughed that hard in such a long time. I had to grab tissues and explain to my children that I am okay.
Oh my gosh. I still can’t stop laughing. I will write back when I can type and think at the same time! Rip roaring fun.
ah!! thanks for the education! I wonder if Eric would do a series of new member discussions to help converts become fully educated on LDS culture?
oh, and YES, I have seen Johnny Lingo–my missionaries told me that was a requirement soon after I was baptized. 😉
Oh, I know!! Me too! I’m being totally serious, I had tears streaming down my face, my stomach was hurting, and I had to run to the bathroom really quick, before I could get back and finish reading it.
As for the front row thing– that’s exactly why WE sit in the very front row– it’s great for getting children to behave better, and pay attention to the talks. I’ve required the same thing in their school classes as well.
They’re supposed to ask to sit in the front of their classes, or as close to the front as possible.
And my parents required the same of me– I was a straight A student until highschool.
Then I started spending half of my class time writing letters to friends, the guy I was madly in love with, etc. The teachers never knew because I far enough toward the back, (or IN the back row) that they couldn’t tell, and I generally knew the material, could answer questions, etc, so I guess they never suspected. But, then my grades started to drop, and my Dad required that I move to the front row. Grades went right back up!
BTW, Tracy, Snider’s piece has a curse word in it. Did you post a warning??? 😎
HA! You know what? I DID think about it after I made my post. I wondered if I needed to put in a warning or disclaimer, then thought “Surely, no one will freak out over that…'” — Will they?
If someone does, maybe we can repost the “Uptight Mormon” article. :jumping:
It’s easy when you have to come up with names for a calling to just look at the people that come to mind and that you know are reliable – but it’s lazy. It’s always been rather annoying to me when I think I see that happening. (And then I have to remind myself that I don’t know what’s going on, not really, grow up Jennifer and stop assuming you know what other people are thinking, my heavens how old am I anyway? Just be grateful it’s not you stuck in that calling, ok girl?) 😉
I guess none of you have ever faced the real possibility (not just a phobia, but things happen in your life that make that a real fear) that you might die and leave your children. These songs, sappy as they are, always affect me negatively for different reasons. I can’t stand them because I don’t like thinking about the possibility that I might leave my kids earlier than I want to.
And heck, if I were to die and a rainbow would be enough to help my kids remember that families are forever and that mommy loves them, it’s a pretty good deal, since the Lord promised they would be around for a long time. 🙂
And BTW, they still play that song on the Sunday music stuff here in Utah. I don’t do this often, but I change the channel every time.
My problem is compounded by the fact that I also know the chorus in Spanish, as it was a filmstrip in our repertoire. I had a comp who loved it.
I think I misunderstood your point, mlinford. It seems you are suggesting that none of us must have faced the possibility of death because if we did we would LIKE the song or the film? Or that we’d agree with the story line? Or that we’d tell our kids something like that? Or something?
Until the kid gets old enough to realize that mommy actually did NOT build the rainbow.
FWIW, Eric was wrong. I didn’t ever cry during this filmstrip. Not once. Although I think that was always unique to me in the rooms I saw it in. But I’ve already written my chapter about IBYAR. You’ll have to buy the book. 😉
That was a really funny article by Eric Snider! And I have to say I completely agree with bringing up Christmas shoes – I always related those two (IBYAR and Shoes). Both way too sappy.
And I don’t think I ever cried either, mainly because it made me mad. It would SO not be that easy! And I agree with that whole conjure-up-a-rainbow thing too. Not likely.
And speaking of inappropriate ties… My bil was sitting in the temple waiting for my sister when he looked down at his black tie with white roses on it. All of a sudden he realized that, uhhh, those weren’t white roses. They were skull n’ crossbones ala Grateful Dead!
Too funny. Keep them coming.
Molly, the real question is why does your bil have a Grateful Dead tie?
No, Alison, the point is that my reaction isn’t sarcasm, it’s honest to goodness pain and fear. The sarcasm doesn’t help that either. But whatever. I clearly have issues….
I agree it’s a silly filmstrip and I hate the song. Loathe it, but just for different reasons.
I wasn’t being sarcastic at all. I thought your assumption that none of us had faced the possibility of death had something to do with our reaction to the film or our specific distaste for it. Particular when you said the rainbow thing would be “a good deal.” As I said, I think I misunderstood our point, but my questions were sincere. I couldn’t fit the different parts together.
Funny, on that particular post I tried very hard to just express my confusion. :confused:
mlinford, I do kind of know what you are saying and can relate (although it’s been years since I’ve seen the film).
When I was delivering my third child, I had a very serious complication that I was told I had a 50/50 chance of surviving. I didn’t think those were very good odds, and I kind of came to terms with it if that’s what was to to be. I wrote letters to all my loved ones before the surgery (delivery) in case I didn’t come out.
Since then, I do look at life as much more fragile. I wouldn’t say I obsess or anything, but I am kind of sensitive to this kind of stuff too.
And I’d just like to thank everyone for keeping me awake last night with this song going through my head….arghhh! 🙂
Well, add more confusion, Alison, because I was actually talking about the sarcasm in the list and in Eric Snider’s piece (e.g., Christmas shoes comments, etc….that song has had an affect on me at times when I was fearing death and it’s more tender than corny, so the sarcasm kind of bugged me…but like I said, I have ISSUES…. 🙂
And, agardner, I go through phases, but given some recent events and struggles, I’m back in obsessing mode. (Issues, remember, issues….)
Gotcha. Glad it wasn’t something I said…for once! :bigsmile:
linford, we all have our issues!
A few years ago I was in a very serious car accident and almost didn’t survive. I actually fell asleep against the car door and it opened and I fell on the road. Going fast. The recovery was long and it was really scary with kids. So I kind of know what you mean.
I still thought Snider was funny, though. I think I try not to let my personal experiences change how I can see how others see things. Like once on a list (was it here?) that someone made a mistake and said, “Sorry, I must be brain dead.” and someone else got really mad because before their brother had died he had been vegetative or something. So “brain dead” had personal meaning and she got offended when anyone said it in a funny way.
Interesting example, Oregonian. Point taken.
But by the same token, it’s not a bad thing to be aware of how what we say can hurt. I dunno where that line is, because we each need to own our reactions, too. 🙂
Sorry. I’m in a philosophical mood tonite. :confused:
Well, I have a pet peeve…. call me crazy…. (and linford , philosophiclly speaking) 😎 : Why are the “smaller numbered” families and the “larger numbered” families always speaking so ill of each other? I am baffled at how much people look down at each other according to how many kids they have wheather great or small. Young or old.
True examples of people putting their hand up to their mouth and whispering:
“Can you believe that Stephanie is having her 7th child. She’s not even 30 yet!”
“Have you heard that Candice is having another child and she is 43! She’s gonna be kapooty ”
“How on earth does the Lord let her have one more? How do they even provide for the 10 they have? ”
The best one I ever had said to me:
“Your in your thirties? You waited a long time to have a baby! ” (Um….I TRIED to have a baby a long time!)
We tend to think we know every single circumstance and so therefore we must “set these families straight”.
I’m curious to see how other people view the # of children people should have in a family. (I will post after with doctrine and scripture but I’m curious first!!!)
Interesting points, Heather. I have heard comments about really large families, say getting up into double digits. Not in person, but on lists, boards, etc. I’ve never heard it about Eyres or anyone with a seemingly MODEL large family, but I’ve heard it about families that are not well-situated, that seem to have out-of-control families, etc. I’ve also heard it about families that seem very backward like the family depicted on a TLC documentary who have, I think, 17 kids now (not LDS). They are homeschoolers and all wear 1980’sish clothes and I’ve read lots of negative comments about them (even though their family seems more organized and kind that 90% of families I’ve ever seen).
Seriously, I don’t hear much about it personally. Maybe because I have a leaning-to-the-large-middle-of-the-Mormon-road sized family. (I got lots of flack in Florida, mostly from my Jewish neighbors.) Personally, though, I do WONDER about some couples with no children or one child, BECAUSE I’m adopted and we dealt so much with infertility in our family (with my dad as a bishop, etc.), I often wonder if that is a problem. But I don’t ever ask about it. I figure it’s too personal.
Other than that, I think it falls under the be prayerful and respectful to each other, great consideration to the wife who has the larger responsibility in child care thing. Just as in anything, we may personally stray from what God wants for us in this arena for many reasons. But how someone ELSE can make that determination (without very personal information) is beyond me.
OTOH, I think it is something we can discuss as a general principle, just as anything else. What does “multiply and replenish the earth” mean? How does other prophetic counsel apply? If someone speaks CONTRARY to prophetic counsel, can we counter it authoritatively? I think so. If someone tells me that “kids are just too much trouble” or “I want my freedom,” for example, we might note some of the things about the importance of posterity and sacrifice that we know to be true.
I can’t say I really think much about the size of anyone’s family – in fact, I can’t say I really know how many children anyone I know might have, unless I’ve known them awhile. Growing up LDS, though, I have always regarded 3 or 4 children as a small family, 5 or 6 as about normal, and anything up in the teens, as “Wow! How do they transport them all?” territory. :bigsmile:
As you might have picked up from my user name, I only have two, and am very unlikely to have anymore. I’m infertile, and didn’t have the opportunity to marry until I was older, so I count myself lucky for the two that I do have. I’ve never gotten much flak about my family size, although that could be just because I’m so obviously of an age to be finishing a family, not starting one. (They never know what to do with me in visiting teaching – give me a 23 yo mother of toddlers as a companion and have us teaching all similarly young mothers, or stick me in with the pre-menopausal crowd? Jennifer – confusing RS presidents for 5 years now! :jumping:)
An interesting insight I gained from my infertility experience: When I was little, everyone would ask, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” And I never had any doubt about what to say. “I’m going to be a mommy!” Which would make everyone laugh, and then they would ask me how many children I wanted. This was a little confusing, as I’d never really thought about it too much. I wanted as many children as I could have, as many as the Lord would send me. But, they wanted an answer, so I would throw something out, like, “2000!” Which would make everyone laugh again. Over the years I whittled that down, until I was answering with “6 kids.” This answer seemed to make everyone happy – but it wasn’t what I really felt, it was just a way to get people off my back. My personal feelings were still complete and utter greediness about children. I wanted as many babies as my body could produce, as many as the Lord would send me. I wanted all the babies I could get my hands on and I didn’t care if the number got up into the teens or twenties or beyond. I just wanted all the babies I could have.
So, when I finally went to the doctor, and was told that, with the way my symptoms manifested, I might not ever be able to have children, you can imagine I was pretty broken up. But I decided to try anyway, and was blessed, after many tears and much prayer, with my two beautiful little girls. And along the way, I realized that the Lord had answered my desires for children exactly as I had always felt them. I had as many children as my body could bear, and as many children as the Lord would send me.
I know my family is complete. It was an understanding that I came to after, again, much prayer and many tears. I have peace in my heart over it, and trust in the Lord that I will be blessed in times to come with all the desires of my heart. Which is why I tend to take the default position that other people have gone through the same process of deciding about their families. Lacking specific information to the contrary, I have to assume that they are doing their best to follow the Lord’s guidance. They have situations in their lives that I know nothing about. To look at another couple and form an opinion about them based on their family size would be classic unrighteous judgment.
Beautiful, beautiful, momof2. Thank you.
I second that.
In general, I don’t care or assume much based on family size. Where the Dugger family is concerned (I think that’s the family referenced above), it bugs me a bit that it seems they are using their fame in having such a large family to support said family. Honestly though, I don’t see how it would be possible to support such a family any other way and they probably use their fame and wealth better than most people. While many of the details of their life are admirable (I’d love to be so organized!), they have openly displayed personal details of their family and, as such, will be open to as much criticism as there is admiration or awe. I think what makes me feel a bit negative towards really large families (such as those with 12 or more kids) is that I don’t see how two people can parent that many children. It seems like, just as a matter of being practical and surviving, that the older children end up sharing parenting duties. I don’t want any of my children raising their siblings. That’s my job (my privilege!) and not the duty of brothers and sisters. Having chores and responsibilities is one thing. What bugged me about the Dugger family is that each of the older children has responsibility for a younger child. I don’t know how far that extends (is it just getting the younger child dressed and making sure they don’t wander off into the woods or does it extend further to baths and potty breaks and feeding?) but the concept is one that bothers me.
Yea, that’s the same family.
I’m torn about the matching up the kids thing. In some ways I agree completely that they should have to be “parents” until they ARE parents. Maybe you should only have as many kids as you can actually parent yourself.
OTOH, I’m guessing that they won’t end up worse off for the experience. When I look at the amount of work ALL my parents, grandparents, etc. did–to help and support their families (responsibilities that our society tends to see as “adult” today)–compared to what most kids do today, I can’t say that the coddling of kids has served them (us?) very well.
Love to hear more thoughts on that.
On a fashion note, I have always wondered about something BECAUSE I’m a homeschooler and have seen the “old-fashioned” matching clothes families a bit. I wonder why today’s moderate fashions are shunned, while fashions of 20 years ago are embraced. What was good about the huge bangs, the Farrah mullets, the poofy sleeves and jumpers, etc. Or maybe the question is, why is it more pious or something?
I guess I’ve wondered the same thing about Amish culture. Why are ties OK, but not zippers? Why did progress come to a screeching halt at a particular time? Or why was THAT level of “progress” OK, but no further?
Totally thread-jacked, but I don’t care.
I did a lot of the child tending/babysitting bit when I was a teenager. My mother went through secondary infertility, so after my brother and I were born it was 8 years before she had another child. My three youngest siblings are all much younger than me. (In fact, I was already at college when my youngest sister was born!) I am sure there were times I was less than happy about it, but what I remember now is that my sister called me “Mama” before she called our mother that. I remember getting up at night to take care of her when she woke up crying (because my mother couldn’t hear her, and her crib was right outside my bedroom door) and how I grew from annoyance at first, to cherishing those times taking care of my little sister – and how proud I was that I was so good at calming her down when she was frightened from a bad dream. All the diaper changing, the babysitting, the times spent soothing them when they were hurt or frightened made me feel very close to them. We’re still close. My two younger sisters are my best friends – we’re on the phone to each other as soon as anything important happens in our lives and just generally on the phone anyway for comfort and support. The sister that I used to take care of in the middle of the night, still remembers those times and talks even now about how much she loved me back then for taking care of her.
I’m glad I had a chance to care for my younger siblings like that. I can see that it could be a bad thing, but I do think that would depend on how it was handled. It’s a fine line to walk between giving a child too much responsibility and giving them a healthy amount of responsibility. (Like anything else in parenthood, huh? I always feel like one step this way will give me a happy well-adjusted child, whereas two steps that way will give me many years worth of therapy to pay for! And I don’t know which way “that way” is… Thank goodness for prayer. “Oh, please Heavenly Father, I’m an idiot! Please, please fix my latest screw-up! Don’t let me mess up my poor kids!” LOL)
I am kind of hurt you would mock the fact that I don’t like to read offensive language, the first discussion I read since getting back and there is a jab at me.
Sorry, Lewis. Didn’t mean to offend. Didn’t mean to poke at YOU so much as at ME. *I* got in trouble and wanted Tracy to get in trouble, too. I hate being the only one in trouble. So maybe I meant to poke at Tracy as a diversion from my own trouble.
Truth is, I get email almost every day with someone saying I don’t run the site in a way they approve of in some way. That’s been the case most of the time it’s been active since it started in 2003. If I can’t laugh about my latest faux pas, then I’d just pack it all in. Sorry to have sounded rude. It’s just a coping mechanism.
And along the way, I realized that the Lord had answered my desires for children exactly as I had always felt them. I had as many children as my body could bear, and as many children as the Lord would send me.
BEAUTIFUL. Thank you.
OTOH, I’m guessing that they won’t end up worse off for the experience.
A good friend of mine came from a family of 15, and this was the way they were able to keep things running (the whole “older kids help with the younger kids” thing). And they are truly some of the most amazing people I know — parents and children alike. Here’s my take on it: Ultimately, whether a “system” like that works will depend directly on the PARENTS and the guidance, training, teaching, etc. that they give. To create a family where family members work together, help each other and even rely on one another (rather than JUST on the parents) I think has lots of benefits. I think parents still will have to have so much interest and involvement (sure, it might be more spread out) to make it work. I also believe the Spirit can totally help them know on whom to focus at particular times.
No matter how many children you have, adding another is a sacrifice for everyone (I think of my dear friend with 9 children who was one of the sicker-than-a-dog (like hospitalized sometimes) kind of person. Imagine how much everyone had to pull together to make having more possible). As such, it’s also a blessing for everyone, as long as the parents provide the kind of spiritual and practical leadership necessary to make it all work.
I’m the eldest in a family of “only” four, and had to help with my littlest brother and sister. I think that is part and parcel of being on the older side of the siblings. As a result of “having” to help, I learned certain lessons about responsibility that my youngest siblings are having to learn the hard way. I wouldn’t trade it. I think we parents are far too likely to avoid putting responsibility on our children’s heads. Whether or not we realize it, this sends the subtle message that those children are not capable of that responsibility. The end of the equation is sullen teenagers with nothing to care for and nothing to do.
I’m glad that this was a positive experience for you, momof2, but that is precisely what I would *not* want to put on my children’s shoulders. I can’t imagine not being the one who was up at night with the baby, changing diapers and soothing my hurt and frightened children. Though I certainly do want to encourage that kind of caring in my children, I don’t want them to be parenting while they are still children. They have responsibilities at home but that comes in the form of unloading the dishwasher, folding laundry, helping clean up, etc.
Did I miss something?
I’m not sure if that was directed at me or at Alison (since Alison answered) or both, but I didn’t see where anyone said anything about “offensive language”, except for Alison herself when she asked if I posted a warning- which I interpreted as a joke– which is also why I answered the way I did.
Evidently, you WERE offended, so I apologize for not posting the warning, and for what may have seemed like a jab at you– but honestly, I didn’t realize that anyone was actually offended. I thought I was answering a joke, with a joke.
We all have our different sensitivities– some will read the article, think it’s hysterical and love it. Some will read it and be offended over the “h” word.
Some will read it and think it’s mocking things that are sacred. I shouldn’t have assumed that everyone’s level of tolerance is, (or should be) the same as mine– and I should have posted the warning.
I don’t come from a super-large family (by Mormon standards) – I am the oldest of six.
We didn’t have the “match-up” system so much, but there was a period of time that my mom was really ill. She pretty much just stayed in bed all day every day and checked out of life. During that time, a lot fell on my shoulders and to be honest, I did resent it. I would come home from school and help the other kids with their homework, and then make and clean up dinner (others would help). This went on from age 10-14 (on and off…my mom’s illness was mostly mental which meant she had good days and bad). My dad of course helped where he could but of course he was working so he wasn’t there all the time.
Also, because of the design of the house, the children’s bedrooms were far away from our parents. My two youngest brothers ended up coming into the room I shared with my sister almost every night, when they were scared, or needed a drink, or had wet the bed. I kind of teamed myself up with one of them and my sister did with the other, and we took care of it that way.
While this did teach me responsibility and developed a bond with my siblings, it did make me resentful that I couldn’t just be a normal kid and not have to worry about the others so much. I still think of my younger (30 year old!) brother as “my baby” even though he’s only 6 1/2 years younger than me.
My mom is well now and it’s all good, she’s pays me back for it by being an excellent grandma to my kids. But at the time it was hard, and I wish people wouldn’t do it to their kids.
As for family size, I admit I do have a bias against super-size families that aren’t taking care of the children in one way or another (actually against any family that isn’t taking care of them, but especially the ones who keep having children because that’s what they are ‘commanded’ to do, despite the fact that their other children aren’t being cared for). It’s probably wrong, but it’s come from a family experience that just convinced me that’s not the way to go. I have a cousin who had 7 children in the first 8 years she was married. Her health was in the toilet, her home was a disaster, the kids freely roamed the neighborhood, and they were financially supported mainly by the church and family members while the husband worked a near-minimum-wage job. The Relief Society would go in a couple of times a year and help her clear out the mess and try to teach her some principles of homemaking, but nothing stuck and pretty soon it was back to the way it was, which was basically a path through the rooms where you could walk. To me, that’s a neglectful and abusive situation, and yet whenever anyone would ask why she keeps having children, it’s “to multiply and replenish”. She also told me that she would keep going except that somehow after the 7th she was not able to get pregnant again, but they were not preventing it.
Having said all that, I know some WONDERFUL large families and I have nothing against that. A family in my old ward had 10 children from about 17 down, and they were awesome. The house was clean, the kids were taken care of, they were involved in the community (in fact, she was the RS president and he is now in the stake presidency). And they were by far the best babysitters in the ward. Not only were they great babysitters, but it was always best to try them first because they had about 5 kids who could babysit so you knew you always had a chance at getting someone! I have nothing against families like this whatsoever. They are taking care of the temporal and spiritual needs of their family, which I can’t say about my cousin and a few others I’ve met.
I do think small families are sometimes judged as well. I feel that way sometimes. I’m often asked when I’m having my next one because my youngest is 4. I have three children and that’s all we’ll be able to have for medical reasons. We haven’t ruled out adoption, but at this time, three feels like a really good number for us. A few people have even asked why I only have three, and don’t want more. I don’t really feel like going into the whole medical saga with them, so I just say, “These three girls are enough for me to handle right now!” (which is true!).
I just think we need to be really careful. I’ll be the first to admit it’s probably wrong for me to judge my cousin and other people I’ve seen in similar situations, but what it comes down to for me is that you need to take care of the children you have, no matter the number.
agardner, you bring up some valid points all around. Yes, we cannot judge PEOPLE, but we can discuss situations and ideas. In parenting I think we have to realize that there are MULTIPLE commandments and pieces of counsel to follow. If we ONLY follow the command to multiply and replenish the earth and are derelict in the others (teaching, protecting, caring, nurturing, loving…feeding, bathing??), it’s a recipe for disaster. Frankly, I’d say it’s better to temper our ability to procreate until we can get the other requirements up to speed, rather than the opposite.
Sorry, the language thing is a big deal in my life. My family uses it and we are trying to get them to respect the fact that we dont and do not want it around us or our baby. I have been going round with Ken Jennings on it right now too, I asked to be unsubscribed from his trivia list because he swore and he got all defensive saying that the d word isn’t a swear word and if so it is g rater and stuff like that, so when I read the uptight momma post, it just hurt because I don’t think living your life with out cursing is uptight,or as Ken Jenning says pharisiacal, but apparently I am the minority in that opinion.
And I agree. (Just so you’ll know, I don’t curse either, and I don’t consider myself “uptight”.) On the other hand, the use of the “h” word in the article didn’t upset me, either. So clearly, you’re more senstitive in that particular arena than I am, and I’m probably more sensitive in a different arena than you are.
Again, I think we all have our sensitivities… things that we really retract from, things that we tolerate, things we don’t, things that ruffle our feathers where someone else might not mind it at all. And alot of it probably doesn’t make much sense, either.
Admission: I’m one of those, who other women would say IS uptight about wearing pantyhose to church, as discussed in a previous thread. I just CAN’T go to Sunday meetings without them- I’d feel like I wasn’t dressed appropriately. I’d say about 90% of the women in our ward don’t wear them, and I DO notice it. But, of course, I never say anything to anyone, so no one would know how uptight about it I really am.
So how much sense does that make? The “h” word didn’t phase me, but stocking-less women at church do…. go figure…
k
There was a lot of feedback about family size. I was glad to read it all. In my college years, I took a public speaking course at BYU. I spoke about this very subject. I felt everyone who participated in responding generally shared a lot of what I researched and shared. However, there were many more references on this issue back from the 50’s- 80’s ,than there are now. I can see that everyone here knows the doctrinal and scriptural direction. I am fascinated however how parents come to “decide” on the number.
I myself came from a large family. Third of eight children. We even fostered two native american children when the church was sponsoring the indian pacement program. My mother was a loving mother and loved all children. But it was also exremely hard for two parents. I can honestly say that there are many positives and negatives to being in this type of setting. I will not give detail , (seeing how I have family that reads these blogs,) but in response to previous writings, being in a large family helped me to 1.) deal with others opinions and differences and problem solve 2.) share 3.) forgive 4.) enjoy holidays 5.) love children myself. I remember getting a lot of flack about being from a large family but I really did not care much.
If you were to ask older siblings vs younger siblings of a large family what their opinions and feelings are about their family size, I bet you’ll get two totally different perceptions. Agardener gave a great example of this.
I too have seen families that have many children and absolutely no structure. Those children really do struggle with everyday life. Their focus no longer is about enjoying life, rather it’s about how to make it from day to day.
I have taken other college classes where one instructor claims that no child is a mistake and meant to be where they are and other instructors that claim the Lord never interfere’s with the planning of children. I suppose that does not matter and what matters is that we live a gospel oriented life so we can be forever families. I myself would have loved to of had many children, but , I am truly greatful for my three little miracles and thank the Lord everyday. I guess it’s not the number that counts – it’s the love, the experiences and the joy you get from these little ones.
FWIW, I agree that if possible, it’s better that children don’t get hit with major parenting responsibilities, or at least not excessively so. I think so much depends on individual temperments of children. Some love helping with things like diapers, etc. I don’t know that there is a one-size-fits-all “right way” to address these issues. The key to me is following the Spirit, considering all factors, not just “multiplying and replenishing” commandments on one hand or personal preferences on the other. I would never have had my children as fast as I did had I been in charge, so we sort of followed what we felt was right (and accepted what God saw fit to do as well). Looking back, because of my health issues that showed up shortly after #3 was born, we might have only had two had we simply followed personal choice alone (which would have been to wait a little longer in between…at least until baby before was weaned! (I did nursing and pregnant twice; not my brain’s idea of wisdom and order, but I’m so grateful that the Lord is wiser than we are!)
Lewis and Facethemusic: I thought of joining in to make light of the being offended. Try this and chuckle.
Analogy:
Analogy is an inference or an argument from a particular to another particular, as opposed to deduction, induction, and abduction, where at least one of the premises or the conclusion is general.
Example: bat: hit Mitt: catch.
Here’s one:
H -E – Double hockey sticks : Hot
Stockings:
a. itchy
b. assortment
c. fashionable
d. We don’t really know since apparently Face the music is only 10% of the women who wear them. Ask her:bigsmile:
Sorry, I don’t know what happened but my blog is in here twice!
Does it help balance the equation then if I tell you that I never had to do those things? 😉 (My mom – a wonderful woman with an amazing gift of love, whom I adore, but never one of the world’s best housekeepers.)
Seriously, I think I made it sound like I had more responsibility than I did. It wasn’t a case of me being responsible for everything with my younger siblings. I was, however, a perfectly capable teenager, who was much in demand as a babysitter. There was no reason in the world I shouldn’t have helped out a lot – and every reason that I should have been required to participate in assisting with family responsibilities.
Getting up in the middle of the night with my sister – that happened because we had to move when she was a baby (dad got a new job in another state.) So, for a while, it was just me, mom and the two little ones in our old home, getting it ready to sell, while my dad and brother were in our new state looking for a house. I had a lot of babysitting responsibilities while mom was getting the house fixed up and showing people around it. Then, when we got to our new home, it turned out the house dad bought was … well, it was the kind of house you end up with when your husband picks it out and you don’t see it before the closing. :shocked: Among other deficiencies the master bedroom was upstairs, the main level was just the living room and kitchen, and the basement had one bedroom with the rest unfinished. (But it was out in the country! And very, umm, picturesque! Yeah, yeah, that’s the word…) We had four kids in the family right then. I got the bedroom, since I was the oldest (and I was a brat and pitched a fit) and the rest of my siblings just slept in beds scattered around the unfinished basement. (They eventually got it finished a few years later, but that first bedroom is still the one everyone moved into as the oldest at home moved out.) That’s why my baby brother and sister called me “mama” for awhile, and why I was up in the middle of the night with my sister, later.
I’m not saying that it’s automatically a good and positive experience for a kid to be taking care of younger siblings, but I do think it’s important to point out that it can be. We love those we serve, and I don’t know if I would be as close to them as we are now, if I hadn’t taken care of them so much when I was still at home. It wasn’t a matter so much of my parents ordering me to take care of them as it was that, this was my family, and I loved them, and I wanted them to be happy. So, I helped out and I played with the little ones, and I listened to them when they needed to talk, and I forgave them when I came home from school one day and found them writing on my window with my lipstick(!), and when I was older and on my own I would have them over for sleepovers and spend one on one time with them – not because I had to, but because I think they’re really cool people. I’m grateful I get to be their sister. If I wasn’t, I probably would never have gotten to know them, and they’re pretty amazing. I’ve learned so much from their examples. It makes me feel really humble to be one of them. And I don’t know if I would really grasp how lucky I am if I hadn’t been in a position where I had to care for them, because I wouldn’t have gotten to know them so well.
I’m not saying it was all wonderful, all the time. I can remember times when I felt really frustrated that I had to babysit (for free no less!) and I certainly wasn’t happy at all the first several times I woke up in the middle of the night to the sounds of a crying wee one. But then, since when is life supposed to be free of things we don’t want to do? And it was a heck of a lot easier than being a mother! Most importantly – I was a self-absorbed, self-pitying, selfish brat as a teenager, with a Texas-sized chip on my shoulder. I needed this experience. It pulled me out of myself and got me thinking more about other people’s feelings than my own. I learned how important it was to be a responsible example and a big sister that my younger siblings could rely on when they needed help.
Parents need to be careful to keep from overloading their children, but we shouldn’t be afraid, either, to let them carry the occasional heavy burden. I also grew up with a mentally ill parent. It sucked. It was a horrible experience and one that has added to my guilt over my postpartum depression, because I really don’t want my kids to go through what I did. But, the Lord has never given me a trial I couldn’t handle, including that one. I was born into that family, with the responsibilities and burdens that went with being a member of that family, because 1) I was strong enough to stand up to the demands and 2) I needed those particular trials to bring me to be the person the Lord saw inside me. (I just wish I could have learned in an easier way, but I am obviously much too thick-skulled for that!! :bigsmile:)
Being a parent is a real balancing act, and I know of no way to carry it off without a lot of prayer and pleading and doing everything I can to stay close to the Spirit. That’s the only way I know of to carry this off without ruining everything. And the more I get into it, the more I become aware of just how pathetically incompetent I am and the more time I spend on my knees begging for help. I can’t do anything without the Lord. I’m simply too imperfect and too flawed. And, being so pitiful, I can’t see judging another parent. They’re just dealing with the same questions and incompetencies that I am. If they screw up somewhere, they’ve done no more than I’ve done in some other area, and probably with more justification for their mistakes than I’ve had for mine.
I used to feel far more judgmental. I used to look at situations that I thought were utterly outrageous and horrifying, so incredibly, blatantly bad parenting, and feel extremely justified in saying, “Oh, my goodness, how could you ever do that without being just a horrible person!” And then, the Lord saw fit to put me through some experiences that showed me just how close I was to making some of those same outrageously, unforgivably, bad mistakes. There, but for the grace of God, territory. So I’m pretty careful now. I’ve learned the hard way that only the Lord knows what is in a person’s heart and to what degree they are accountable for their actions. (And I really don’t want the Lord to look at me and say, “Hmm, I think she needs another lesson!”)
I’m totally laughing at myself over here, Heather… I didn’t “get” half of what you said, even though for some reason, it posted 3 times! I must be a little dim-witted- or maybe I need a vitamin supplement? I don’t get the bat:hit mitt:catch thing– where’s the chuckle?
I got the thing about asking me about wearing hose —
Here’s my take on pantyhose.
They’re great because:
— they make my tummy look flatter than it is
— they hold in my bulging thighs
— they hide my hideous legs that resemble the skin of a freshly plucked chicken
They’re not so great because;
— they run too easily
— they’re uncomfortable, especially on hot, humid days
— they look stupid with dressy sandals – (is it just me, or do stockings look
stupid with sandals??) so I can’t wear my favorite sandals to church, even though they
ARE dressy
— I can’t wear my favorite pairs of heels to church, because they’re backless, no straps, etc.
and I’m a stickler about hose and church. Ever try wearing a backless pair of heels with
stockings? Talk about a nuisance!. My foot kept slipping out of the shoe when I’d take a
step. So I resigned myself to the fact that I can’t wear my favorite heels to church.
I hope the heavens appreciate my incredible sacrifice. 😥
The phone lines are open– donations of $25, $50 and $100 to the Tracy Compassionate Fund are now being accepted.
face the music:
bat is to hit as a mitt is to catch. This is called an analogy. Sorry. Did a lot of these in college and high school.
other examples:
cat : kitten dog: puppy
(a cat is to akitten as a dog is to apuppy)
foot:leg mouth:face
(a foot is to a leg and a mouth is to a face)
stick: tree leg:chair
(a stick is to a tree and a woodenleg is to a chair)
And thus giving:
he!@# : hot Stockings: itchy
(he!@# is to hot as stockings are to being itchy).
I probabally look like a nerd now with putting analogies on the blog!
I know, I know…………… So lame now. I’m not even laughing anymore:confused:
I would like to donate $100 to the Tracy Compassionate Fund.
Oh— I gotcha now. I feel stupid. You said something about getting a chuckle, so I was looking for a hidden joke within the bat, mitt analogy itself… and I was like… so where’s the joke??
Yeah, I’m all too familiar with the analogies– I think half of the questions on the ACT, SAT and college entrance exams are those.
“Hand is to glove as foot is to ______”
…. hmmm, I don’t know, that’s a toughy…..watermelon??
I mean honestly, is this what determines whether or not one should be admitted into college?
Oh, and we can’t forget the syllogisms!!
“If all sneetches are oinkers and oinkers are flipsies, then all sneetches are flipsies.”
–Just don’t ask me which conjecture in number theory states a basic result regarding the rational number solutions of Diophantine equations.
(And don’t anyone answer that, either. Let me feel smart just for being able to ask the question.) 😉
I think we spend way too much time coddling our children and way to little time teaching them to function in life. Then we wonder why they are so high maintenance once “real life” slaps them across the face a few times.
Begin rant. As one of the infamous Gen Y’s, stop telling me about my “rights” and what I “deserve.” (Including being a “normal child” as if there was such a thing.) Quite frankly, I don’t think I deserve one single thing I haven’t earned. End rant.
My kids will be on Oprah one day, telling the world that we gave them the “rights are inseparable from responsibilities” lecture enough times to constitute abuse.
Oh, my rant wasn’t directed at you, Alison. It was a general societal rant. 😉
Oh, I didn’t take it personally! I was actually agreeing with you. I tell me kids the same thing almost daily. 🙂
This is a great list. How about people who park across three spaces to preserve their BMW’s?
Even more annoying than that are ego trucks. Period. Everything they do, all that they are, even their very existence offends me.
Ego trucks are followed closely by kazoo mufflers. One lives across the street from our house. One of these days, I’m going to fill the entire vehicle with sawdust and xanthum gum.
Since we’re diverting from church-related peeves-
One of my biggest peeves is people who throw their trash out the car window. Anything from cigarette butts to McDonald’s bags and 32oz cups from the gas station. I always give them a big, very long, obnoxious HONK with the car horn. But my REAL desire is to follow them home and take the grocery sack I keep in my car (that collects all the kids candy wrappers, empty juice boxes, etc), and wait for them to pull into their driveway and exit their car, then I’d pull up along the curb to their property, hang my sack out the window, turn it upside down and shake all the contents onto their lawn. They’d start shouting, “What are you doing?” I’d answer in a very calm tone, “Oh, well since you threw your Big Gulp out the car window at the intersection of 71 highway and Red Bridge Rd, I figured that you’re one of those who’s believes that anyplace on the earth is your personal trash can. So following your example, I decided to use your lawn as mine. Have a great day!” then pull away and drive off.
okay, I’m afraid I can resist no longer — -#1 pet peeve in my world: throwing a full cup (any type of cup that is not sealed so that the liquid is unable to escape) into a trashcan. Is there a trashcan anywhere in the world where this is a good idea? Eventually, some human being WILL have to empty this trash and it is very likely that said cup with pour all over this person. Yuck-ola.
I totally agree about the trash on the road as well as the humongo vehicles. And let me also add, please forgive my redundancy if I’ve mentioned this already, a huge pet peeve of mine (since I have to pick this stuff up at work) is all the people who dump things at the store near the register (or any place other than where it belongs). Handing an unwanted item to an employee (such as the cashier you will have to see before you leave the store!) is just fine–dumping it in another display or anywhere near the register is NOT. That goes double for perishable items (especially ice cream which gets messy and meat which gets smelly). :angry::shocked::angry:
LOL you guys are good. partone, there was a comedy skit I saw years ago where they named the people who park across multiple lanes “Diagonerds.” I’ve remembered that for over two decades. Silver, oh, the stories I could tell. I agree completely.
Tracy, will you please capture this on video for all to enjoy?
OK, jennycherie, I’m with you BUT I have to ask how to resolve it. When I go to a fast food place, there are no options for those who don’t want to finish their entire drink. What to do?
Dump the liguid in the tray where you get drinks, that is a sink link area, that is what we do. My pet peeve would be not using a turn signal, it is there for a reason, but some have yet to find that reason apparently.
Or kids running through stores, yeah that gets me “peeved”.
Be careful about dumping the liquid in the splash guard of the drink dispenser. Not all of them drain.
On the subject of kids – those skate-shoes. I hate those.
Ah, now, you think it was just coincidence that they waited until AFTER you were baptized???
One of the (three) books I’m writing has a chapter about Mormon culture. I’ll Build You a Rainbow is a prime target.
And darnitall. I just read the piece and Eric did steal some of my thunder (no pun intended). (I wrote that chapter in 2001!)
So untrue. The only “doctrine” being taught is that deceased ancestors control the weather.