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The salty water of the shallow pool in Shark's Cove made Caleb's eyes and nose run. In order to alleviate the discomfort of the post nasal drip, he would periodically run to me and hug my leg not in a gesture of toddler adoration but to wipe his nose across my board shorts.
In spite of my repeated attempts to convince my children that I am not a giant, breathing, human tissue, I have, for the past 20 years straight, served this purpose.
Over the past week, I have tried to define myself by the other things I am not. This is not an all-inclusive list, but this morning my friends, Molly and Mary, helped refine and hone this list to the most troublesome and urgent. Children (particularly those over 13!), please take heed.
I am not a human pillow. The fact that you are sleepy does not necessarily mean that I am available for you to sleep on, lie on, sweat on, drool on. It does not mean you can smoosh me up to make me softer. (I am soft enough, already.)
I am not a human purse. The fact that you have “really valuable stuff” that you don't want to bother carrying yourself does not necessarily mean that it can be dumped on me.
I am not a human motorized vehicle. The fact that you are tired of walking does not necessarily mean that I am available to carry and/or pull you wherever we are going. It also does not mean that you can grab the side of the stroller (that I am pushing) to help move you along.
I am not a human garbage can. The fact that you have gross, sticky, used up, disgusting stuff that you don't want to hold does not necessarily mean that I am available to take it off your hands.
I am not a human napkin. The fact that you have gross, sticky fingers (probably because of the gross, sticky garbage you were carrying until just a minute ago) does not necessarily mean that my pants are here to relieve you of the mess.
Thank you for listening. I feel purged. Please, discuss.
Alison Moore Smith is a 61-year-old entrepreneur who graduated from BYU in 1987. She has been (very happily) married to Samuel M. Smith for 40 years. They are parents of six incredible children and grandparents to two astounding grandsons. She is the author of The 7 Success Habits of Homeschoolers.
This is so funny. What about I’m not a human bottom wiper? I’m not a human maid?
I agree with the tissue bit, but I don’t mind being the pillow yet, then again mine is only 20-months-old, so I enjoy being her pillow.
I do sometimes, too. But when you’ve got six, hot, sweaty kids, ages 3-19, and four or more of them are using you to sleep through sacrament meeting…well, it just drives the Spirit completely away! 😉 That’s why I said it doesn’t NECESSARILY mean. Sometimes I just want to sit without being sat upon. 🙂
Human fishing line, trying to fish whatever-that-just-was out of my daughter’s mouth.
Yes! I knew you’d come up with a fabulous, articulate article on our silly (but totally true!) discussion this morning, lol!
Too cute! I’m with Lewis_family on the pillow thing. I’m actually hoping my youngest doesn’t grow up too fast and decide he’s too big to snuggle and use me as a pillow. I realize my days are numbered, so right now I’m enjoying every opportunity. As for everything else– a great big AMEN!!
In the funnies today, the one of the front page, it’s like a mom cartoon that is only in the sunday paper was all about being “human” whatever. I found it quite amusing, since we had discussed it here.
Wow, we are cutting edge, no?
I will for sure have to get my husband on here now, he hates when I say no at the end of a question, and says I am the only one who does, but here is another example, no? 😉
I’D LIKE TO SHARE MY FAITH AND TESTIMONY WITH ALL MORMON WOMEN.I’M VERY PLEASED TO BE A 4 KIDS’MOM.SOMETIMES I FELT TIRED AT THE END OF THE DAY.BUT I GO TO THEIR ROOM AND SAW THEM AND I GOT RECOVERED.SORRY IF I MADE A MISTAKE I’M A SPANISH SPEAKER.
Welcome, pooky77. All are welcome. 🙂
BTW, I get recovered when my kids are sleeping, too!! 😀
Love this.
I am not a human bandage. Someone bleeds, *I* am supposed to stop it, with my hand, my shirt, my hair, whatever.