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I wish I could say that I had lived a life of great learning, which learning I shall distill here in nuggets of columnar wisdom. Indeed I have lived. I have learned. And I have eaten nuggets. Whether any of that constitutes wisdom is up for debate.
What I would dearly love to do in this new Mormon Momma column, “Celestial Pressure Canning,” is discuss whether or not the vicissitudes of the life through which we sail are survivable with our sense of humor intact. Whether or not we can do more than we can do. And honestly, whether or not God loves us despite the fact that the last time we attended the temple we fell asleep three times and once we finally did rouse ourselves enough to stand, we turned and smacked headlong into a large post we somehow hadn't noticed was standing right next to us the whole time. It wasn't me. I have no idea what you're talking about.
I firmly believe God has a sense of humor. All I have to do is look at myself and much of my life to know that. And I don't mean that in a self-deprecating way. Too many hilarious things have happened to me hilarious once retrospect and time have healed the emotional scars to believe that this isn't the case. I also firmly believe that God intends for us to enjoy life. It's just that we have a persnickety habit of getting in the way. If you will forgive me, I'm going to eschew the format of the advice-giving column given that I have had no formal training in any of this except living life as a resident spaz. I'm proud of this role, and I'm happy to share it with you through thoughts, observations, tales of discomfiture and disconcertion, tales of silly joy, and musings about the meaning of it all. And please feel free to share, advise, and commiserate.
Life is a swirling vortex of surprise. If we hold on tight, it will eventually spew us out onto a sea of calm, where we can contemplate all we've learned and ask ourselves, “Where did I put my chocolate?”
Hope you'll join me.
Alison Moore Smith is a 61-year-old entrepreneur who graduated from BYU in 1987. She has been (very happily) married to Samuel M. Smith for 40 years. They are parents of six incredible children and grandparents to two astounding grandsons. She is the author of The 7 Success Habits of Homeschoolers.
I’m spitting chunks of barbecued beef at the screen! No, slim jims. Seriously, can you see why I begged this woman to blog for us?
Thanks for the laugh, Janiel. This will be a great column to read!
However, I don’t know about the rest of you, but I always know where my chocolate is! :bigsmile:
Okay, you’ve got me, Michelle. I ALWAYS know where my chocolate is, too. Most often it can be found in my secret hiding place, which I like to call “See’s Chocolates.” I have hiding places all over the world. And thanks for your vote of confidence. 🙂
Alison, I’m trying to figure out if it is a good thing that my column made you spew beef chunks. And seriously, if you’re going to persist in invoking the “Slim Jim” metaphor, we’re going to have to explain it. FYI, I only eat them about once a decade. 😉
Yeah, my biggest problem now is that my kids are old enough to insist that I share and they know all of my hiding places. *sigh* Chocolate never lasts as long around here as it used to… Hmm, not that it ever lasted long in the first place! 😉
Janiel, I’m gonna love this column!
What a hoot! Well, we know one thing for sure. If we ever have our heated discussions again (liberal vs. conservative, illegal immigrant amesty vs. prosecution,etc) we can count on Janiel’s column to lighten things up a bit. 🙂
Oh– and I forgot to mention — even if my head DOES explode while trying to become celestial material, all that brain matter and what not will be put back together when I’m ressurected– celestial material or not. So there’s one consolation. 🙂
Great comments…..thank you for your candor & honesty!! Not to mention the great laugh…..
Facethemusic, I completely forgot about the whole resurrection-thing! You have no idea how many brain-cells I delivered along with each of my children. I will be BRILLIANT in the resurrection! As for joining in on heated political discussions, no-can-do. I have decided not to crack open a newspaper until after the 2nd Coming. My blood-pressure shoots out of the top of my head every time I do, and I want to yell “Can’t We All Just Get Along???!” Seriously. I don’t even want to hear about the weather.
(Okay, this is a little bit of an exaggeration. But generally, I like to keep it light. If I don’t I have to suppress the urge to give the world a collective smack upside the head.)
Chrysula, I’m going to love your column. You are very clear and approachable in your writing, and I like your philosophy so far. I plan on being perfectly balanced this time next year.
Spitfire – great name, by the way; evocative – Candor and honesty is the best way I know of preventing someone saying to me, “I know something secret about YOU.” All I have to say is, “Of course you do. I wrote about it in my column. Everyone knows something secret about me.” **sound of wind leaving sails** I just hope you don’t get sick of the candor and honesty very quickly. 🙂
Thanks for making me feel welcome, everyone!
best. mormon. line. ever.
i think im going to like this writer. fun stuff and i need it.
I’m in. there’s chocolate, right? cause if not, I’m out… nah, I’m in.
I feel as if my head is going to explode on a daily basis! So this will be perfect, I may be able to pick up a few pointers!
Ooh, Kiar. The Surgeon General warns against picking up pointers from me. Watch yourself, hon.
hee hee! I am not good at watching myself. I tend to get myself in more trouble then other people do. so I am sure whatever I pick up from you will be an improvment… yeah, lets go with that! lol.