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Marjorie Paye Hinckley said:
Be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.
My family is facing some challenges for which there are no easy, quick fixes. After my initial reaction of fighting off panic, I have hunkered down and focused on doing what I can to make it through circumstances over which I have no control. Because of the ongoing nature of these challenges, occasionally I go through times when I struggle to remain optimistic and hopeful. Lately I have been floundering. I am trying to maintain a positive attitude, to hold onto my faith and hope. But sometimes the open-ended aspects of these challenges make it difficult to fight discouragement, guilt, and hopelessness. The extent of my tension and stress varies—depending on my mood, my level of fatigue, and other situations in my life. I am not in crisis mode, but I recognize that at times I am fairly close.
The specifics of my challenges aren't pertinent to the purpose of my article—for we are all facing challenges of some kind. Some are relatively easy and short-lived; others are difficult and seemingly never-ending. All require courage and effort and diligence in order to emerge on the other side a better and stronger person.
I know I am not the only one facing daunting issues. As we each attempt to cope with the circumstances in our lives, there are methods we can use that will strengthen our ability to survive. My main purpose in this article is to remind myself, as I remind each of you, that it is possible to see—and eventually reach—that proverbial light at the end of the tunnel.
Last August I posted an article entitled Dealing with Life's Frustrations, in which I brought up some of the methods we can use to help us face our challenges. How ironic that my trials have ended, begun, and continued since that time. This continues to be timely counsel to help me cope to the best of my ability.
One of my biggest personal challenges is to accept the natural differences between my faith and my mortal understanding. I have an absolute testimony of the Plan of Salvation—the Plan of Happiness!—which includes “opposition in all things.” (2 Nephi 2:11) Yet I also tend to “kick against the pricks” (Acts 9:5) when there appears to be too many negatives in the “opposition” equation! We are, after all, also here on Earth to “have joy.” (2 Nephi 2:25) The balance between opposition and joy is something I am continually learning to understand and accept. One of the most important lessons we can learn is that we can still have joy during the moments of opposition!
2 Nephi 31:20 states: “Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life.”
I have found that one of the tests of mortality is to discover how to rise above our earthly challenges and to maintain hope. We need to remember that we're on a journey back to the presence of our Heavenly Father. Part of that journey includes experiencing joy and part of it includes being tested and tried—and nobody is exempt from this entire package of mortal participation.
In the Oct 2008 General Conference, Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf spoke of hope. He said:
Hope has the power to fill our lives with happiness. … The hope of salvation is like a protective helmet; it is the foundation of our faith and an anchor to our souls.
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No matter how bleak the chapter in our lives may look today, because of the life and sacrifice of Jesus Christ, we may hope and be assured that the ending of the book of our lives will exceed our grandest expectations. … The things we hope in sustain us during our daily walk. They uphold us through trials, temptations, and sorrow. Everyone has experienced discouragement and difficulty. Indeed, there are times when the darkness may seem unbearable. … This type of hope in God, His goodness, and His power refreshes us with courage during difficult challenges and gives strength to those who feel threatened by enclosing walls of fear, doubt, and despair.
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We learn to cultivate hope the same way we learn to walk, one step at a time. … There may be times when we must make a courageous decision to hope even when everything around us contradicts this hope. … Hope sustains us through despair. Hope teaches that there is reason to rejoice even when all seems dark around us.
This is what keeps me from giving up; this is the light that beckons me to continue onward; this is my hope: that my efforts to endure well enough for now will be sufficient to help me remember to trust my Savior and to feel joy in my journey, even when the way is difficult.
Therefore, dearly beloved brethren, let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed. (Doctrine & Covenants 123:17)
Alison Moore Smith is a 61-year-old entrepreneur who graduated from BYU in 1987. She has been (very happily) married to Samuel M. Smith for 40 years. They are parents of six incredible children and grandparents to two astounding grandsons. She is the author of The 7 Success Habits of Homeschoolers.
Beautiful, and as I think I have mentioned before, I can relate to so much of what you say.
I have been re-reading Conference talks, and there is soooo much about facing trials with faith…that we can find hope and perspective and peace even if and as hard things are not taken away. That we can even come to love adversity.
I’m not there yet, but I am trying to accept adversity more, which for me is a first step in not falling into despair.
Come to “love” adversity???? Not sure I’ve ever heard it put that way. That was in a conference talk? I must have been shushing one of my kids during that one, and missed it! 🙂
Lovely post, Michelle. It really does come down to faith and trust. We all know the principle and answer during a Relief Society or Gospel Doctrine lesson– I guess it’s the real life application where we realize we may be a little lacking in the execution of it. Of course, if we weren’t a little lacking, then we wouldn’t NEED faith.
Funny timing for this, because my husband and I were just discussing this a little earlier. The conversation started out about one thing, but morphed into an entirely different discussion– I’m not even sure I remember how it all happened. But we ended up talking about how different people deal with and handle similar problems and how faith is a part of that. One of my brothers lost a 2 year old son in a drowning accident– that’s the kind of thing that seems to either break you or make you. Where such a thing causes ome people to fall apart, lose faith, lose marriages, etc, my brother and sister in law became stronger, individually, in their faith AND in their marriage. Of COURSE the first couple years after were extremely difficult, they both had some depression issues, etc but through it all they maintained and strengthened their faith. I know there were times when they each felt like they were waivering– but they pushed through it, continuing to pray, to seek– they looked to Heavenly Father for comfort, strength and answers, rather than turning FROM him out of anger or feelings of abandonment.
But then we started talking about the littler things that also require faith– and even the “littler'” things will break some people– for the same reason, a lack of faith, or at least lacking enough to get through and endure. But the thing is, it’s EXERCISING faith that helps to build it. It’s just like a muscle.
Brigham Young has been credited (almost surely incorrectly) as having said that trials make us grow, so we should pray for more trials – which is why he married so many women. :devil:
Wonderful thoughts, babe. Part of what inspires me and our children is watching you continue in faith despite the obvious pain and difficulty. It means more to them because they know it’s hard. That is a meaningful blessing you are giving them, and they will bless you for it.
Michelle, this is going in my journal so I can refer to it often! I need this reminder to stave off despair.
Tracy, this is so true! This is another statement that I will refer back to when I need to give myself a boost! So often it is the little things that throw us for a loop…
Ray, thanks for reminding me about the epiphany that helped me understand how much our kids are learning about facing adversity and maintaining faith/hope from watching me… Love you!
Thanks, all of you! Support from friends is one of the best ways for me to shore up my faith and hope when it seems feeble from being too frequently overwhelmed by various trials.
Ray, thanks for reminding me about the epiphany that helped me understand how much our kids are learning about facing adversity and maintaining faith/hope from watching me
With my health stuff, I often try to remind myself that ‘this is their [my children’s] journey, too. [And I’m not in charge of that journey. God is.]
Tracy, here’s the quote, from Elder Wirtlin’s talk that has come to mean more to me:
I am just realizing tonite that perhaps the title of his talk was more profound than what I had first thought. Come what may, and love it — even adversity. Not that we seek it, but that we embrace it enough to face it with faith and find the power of God in our lives — find what true joy is all about.
It’s like Paul, who gloried in trials, no?
Well, here I am crying all over the keyboard. Michelle, you wrote courageously about dealing with your circumstances, and I love you for your bravery. This week I acquired a little statement that says, “Courage is fear that has said its prayers.” No solutions, here, but if I were near you, I would do with you what I do with my own sister when she is hurting. I would wrap my arms around you and cry with you and pray that better days would come for you–but if not, I would pray that you could be lifted up and given peace and patience to endure whatever our Father thinks is necessary for you. We’re right here with you.
I love the perspective you all share!
Serena, now you have me crying all over the keyboard! I have to disagree about one thing, though. If I were truly courageous, I would have written specifics of our circumstances. I’m not that brave yet! I have Ray, my sister, and some close friends IRL for sharing the messy details… :devil: 😥 However, if we were near each other, we would wrap our arms around each other and cry together, and give each other the courage and strength to continue facing our individual battles!
Thank you all for your support and friendship! That helps buoy me up considerably!
Someday I would love to have a MM get-together, a real-life one.
Such beautiful words about adversity and hardships. And yes, there is a special beauty in our trials. Not only do learn from them but we learn a lot about ourselves (potential, limits etc.) Most of all, we have little ones that watch how we take on the struggles through the faith and prayers. I pray I will be a good example to them. I thank the Lord everyday for these experiences. I also love it when people say their lives are going great and then they have to “knock on wood” because NO ONE is exempt!
Heather! There you are! So good to hear from you again. Loved this: “. . .there is a special beauty in our trials. Not only do learn from them but we learn a lot about ourselves (potential, limits etc.) Most of all, we have little ones that watch how we take on the struggles through the faith and prayers.”
Yes, yes, a MM union (can’t call it a re-union until the second time, right? :wink:) is just exactly what we need. I think about all of you so much. Especially as I sat in the temple the other day, my mind was filled with thoughts of you. What a richness you have added to my life.