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When I was in college, I was regularly appalled at the state of mothers with children. June Cleaver was long gone. No longer did women tidy up in housecoats and rollers so they could slip on their finger comb their “do,” button up a starched dress, and slip on heels and pearls to welcome their man home from a hard day at the office. And for good reason. But what had we become?
Instead the moms of my generation often seemed unkempt and less than fashionable.They might wear sweats or scrubs or leggings and a baggy tee shirt all day, or worse. (Is there a worse?) Their hair was scraggly and so-last-decade. And more often than not, there wasn't a stitch of makeup on their faces. And their bodies, well, let's just say they weren't swimsuit-ready.
I swore I would never be one of “those moms.” Ew. I'm no June Cleaver, but do I have to be the ponytailed mom in sweats? Sometimes I am.
I'm not generally unkempt, but fashion? If I knew what was in fashion I might be able to tell you if I'm up with it.
I don't wear scrubs, but sometimes I wear sweats when I get up intending to work out and end up distracted by the girl who needs help packing for ballroom tour or to help her rehearse lines or talk about boys or the boy who wants me to see his lego creation or play Dutch Blitz or read him a story. And before I know it, it's four in the afternoon and I'm still waiting for my workout. (And, OK, Sam actually did get me some scrubs last year and I do wear them once in a while.)
I haven't had my high school hairdo since high school. I'm proud of that. But having so many heads of hair to keep tidy, I'm only at the hairdresser for me every once in a very long while. So I usually rate pretty high on the scraggly factor.
I'm great about wearing makeup. Once that 4:00 pm workout is over and I finally shower and dress for the day.
And my body? Well, you already know about my struggle to lose weight. Did you have to remind me?
So, nearly 24 years after having my first baby, I'm not exactly where I thought I'd be. I didn't realize that somewhere along the line you find things that are more important than looking in the mirror and reapplying your lipstick. But I'm not giving up hope. I don't think focusing on your family (and other important outside-of-yourself things) requires some kind of haggard mom uniform. I'm thinking about making a comeback.
Alison Moore Smith is a 61-year-old entrepreneur who graduated from BYU in 1987. She has been (very happily) married to Samuel M. Smith for 40 years. They are parents of six incredible children and grandparents to two astounding grandsons. She is the author of The 7 Success Habits of Homeschoolers.
I resemble that remark. :/ So, do you have any suggestions on how to get out of the rut? I’ve been here so long I don’t even know where to start!
You know, Rhonda, I’ve been thinking about it for some time. The idea came when I met the author to Making Your Comeback at BookExpo in Los Angeles a couple of years ago. This isn’t one of my current main goals, but it’s a lingering one in the back of my mind. Maybe I need to get more serious about it. But I do recommend that book for middle-aged to older women. Great ideas and the before and after pics are sensational.
I’m with Rhonda. It’s been way too long since I cared about stuff. I went to the mall with my daughter the other day. I don’t even LIKE the clothes they sell. How can I be fashionable when I hate it??? Help!
And it doesn’t help that a bunch of it is 60s and 70s stuff. Didn’t we get enough of that garbage back in the 60s and 70s???
I try to find a balance between pearls and heels and downright grubby. It’s just not practical to clean toilets in a nice dress and my shirts end up with baby spit up all over them, so I’m going inexpensive.
But I shower every day, put on real clothes (even jeans and a tee shirt), and pull my hair back. Some days it’s hard to do that, but I really make an effort. For my sanity more than just for looks!
terrillee, such good points. Practical concerns are very real. Believe me, I remember the days when I always had a huge spit up stain on one shoulder or the other. Or both.
Once I went to a women’s event and when a friend of mine turned around, she had spit up from her shoulder all the way down her back. She hadn’t seen it. Wah!
Love the Leave It To Beaver reference! Hah! And this message hits too close to home. Maybe I need to stop reading you blog and get in the shower! :-0
The problem with trying to “keep it all together” is that the there can be so much going on at once, especially with little kids. You can’t depend on an hour (or even minutes) in the morning to get yourself together. More often than not, a baby will wake you up and then you are “on call.”
I love scrubs! They are comfy and easy to clean. On the attractive scale maybe not so high though…
caroline, just tell me they aren’t sponge bob scrubs. 😉
This has been an issue for me whenever I didn’t have a specific reason to get up and get dressed. Even when I had a full-time job, Saturday and Sunday I became the biggest slob! That’s just laziness.
chillin, you make a good point. Exterior pressures tend to be way more compelling than interior ones!
I have an elderly relative who struggled with her weight for decades. When the doctor said, “You’ll die if you don’t lose weight,” she was off and running. She lost tons of weight and has stuck strictly to her diabetic diet. I didn’t know she had it in her. And she didn’t, until she got it from outside. 🙂