Very Bad Forks

[Whispered at maximum whisper decibels.] Caleb (4): Mom! Mom! [pause…tugs on Mom's sleeve] Caleb: Mom! I have good new and bad news! Mom: Really? What's the good news? Caleb: When you use a fork! Mom: Oh! And what's the bad news? Caleb: When you don't use a...

Ceiling Precipitation

[Upon noting the vast amounts of blown-in insulation lying on the basement floor.] Mom: Caleb, what's this mess all over the floor? Caleb (4): Mom, I just throw my sword up and up and up on the ceiling and then…it's raining in our home!

What Are Teenagers Made Of?

Monica (10): Mom, do you know how you tell when someone is a teenager? Mom: How? Alana (14): I don't want to hear this! Monica: Well, first you look at their age. Then you see if it has the word “teen” on the end. If it does, you know they're a...