Energy Star Rebate Finder

The rebate system for energy-efficient improvements is a baffling array of governmental nonsense. No surprise there. If you do exactly what the EPA tells you to do, when they tell you to do it, while living where they want you to live—and presumably with the...

Old Age Eyes

After breakfast one morning, when I was four, I went up to my bathroom to brush my teeth. Whilst making my teeth sparkle, I noticed that there was raspberry jam stuck on my jaw. I got a washcloth and wiped. Then I rubbed. Then I scrubbed. With tears running down my...

Vulgarity & Idiot Journalists

In the quest for civility and a moderately refined society, I have come up with a three part plan of action for the senior editorial staff at the University of Utah student newspaper: Grow up. Get out of the boys' junior high locker room. Buy a thesaurus. When I was...