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When I was in high school I began dating a guy I stayed with for a number of years. While we were never completely exclusive, we were definitely an item. And we were sure one day we would get married.
In spite of those claims, the guy was always making out with other girls and, apparently, making similar protestations of love to them.
Every moment—at school, at work, trying to sleep—I was worried about where he was and what he was doing.
Fast forward a few years until I was dating my soon-to-be-husband. Sam is a man of his word. Period. End of story.
Since we began dating 28 years ago, through all the situations, all the business travel (he was a Delta Gold Medallion for years…meaning he travelled at least 50,000 miles in a calendar year), I have never once worried about his honor and commitment to our marriage and family.
Trust is a common bond between all people. It's the one thing which, if removed, will destroy the most powerful government, the most thriving economy, the most influential leadership, the greatest friendship, the strongest character, and the deepest love.
With just a taste of both sides of the trust issue, I can say unequivocally, there is no comparison. One brings anxiety, fear, and dread. The other brings happiness, peace, and greater love.
If you're looking for a spouse, a business partner, a roommate, an employee, look for someone you can trust. And be a person of trust for others.
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Alison Moore Smith is a 61-year-old entrepreneur who graduated from BYU in 1987. She has been (very happily) married to Samuel M. Smith for 40 years. They are parents of six incredible children and grandparents to two astounding grandsons. She is the author of The 7 Success Habits of Homeschoolers.
I know this is usually a guy thing, but I’m a guy who has the same problem with my girl. I never know what’s going on. I wish we could just move past this and then the relationship could grow.
ChowHound, I realize I don’t know you and that you didn’t ask for advice, but I’m giving it anyway. 🙂 If you are in a committed relationship and their is not trust, there is no committed relationship.
I know it may not seem to be true, but there are many fish in the sea, loyal fish. You deserve better.
Beautifully said. Having been on the wrong side of trust I know what you say is true.
Mandy, thank you. I’m sorry you’ve experienced this kind of pain. 🙁