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When I was 19-years-old I sat on a table in a small room, waiting for my turn to audition for a local musical production. Next to me was a good friend named Kerri. I had long idolized her. She was an amazing singer, a talented athlete, homecoming queen. And she was actually genuine and fun. As we chatted, suddenly she burst out with a completely unexpected sentiment:
“Alison, you should run for Miss Orem.”
What? Me? Hahaha. Ha. Huh?
When I was eight-years-old my Sunday School teacher was Rosemary Dunn. She was tall and poised, with long strawberry blonde hair. She was kind and sweet and made me feel important. And she was Miss Orem. I was in awe and wanted nothing more than to be just like her. I even told my mom I wished she hadn't named me “Alison,” but had called me “Rosemary” instead.
But the fat, freckled, bespeckled redhead was never, ever going to be Miss Anything. But here was Mountain View's Queen Kerri, seriously suggesting I could be one, too.
Because of her encouragement, I saw a glimmer of a possibility. I thought maybe there was a tiny bit of an outside chance that perhaps I could be in the remote ballpark of being capable of competing in a beauty pageant.
To be clear, I know beauty isn't the most important thing on earth. (And the older I get, the more I need that to be true!) I'm disgusted with the emphasis our culture has on the physical and I don't encourage my own girls to pursue this kind of thing. But at the time, feeling beautiful was so far off the map that the idea was remarkable. And because I followed her advice, I ended up with some great friends and college money for my efforts. Oh, and tiaras…which is really why I competed in the first place.
Still, however, I often find myself in the same trap. I don't dream big because I don't think I qualify. I don't put my best effort because I'm pretty sure it's hopeless anyway. Being mediocre isn't awesome, but it's safe and comfortable. But it's still not awesome.
Being reasonable allows you to feel safe in the sense of knowing that your actions will turn out pretty much the way you expect them to.
If you dive in head first, you might win the gold medal, but you might drown. If I just paddle around the edges, I won't win any prizes, but I'll have a decent view.
Is that enough for you?
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Alison Moore Smith is a 61-year-old entrepreneur who graduated from BYU in 1987. She has been (very happily) married to Samuel M. Smith for 40 years. They are parents of six incredible children and grandparents to two astounding grandsons. She is the author of The 7 Success Habits of Homeschoolers.
Miss Alison, I came across this today at the exact moment I was ready to hear it. I am not young, but I’m not dead. I have spent all my life trying to avoid disappointment and I only recently realized that I’ve caused much more disappointment by doing so.
Being mediocre is not okay, but I don’t know if it’s just too late for me. 🙁
Oh, Clarence! I was sitting here working at my desk when your comment showed up for approval.
I know just what you mean about increasing disappointment by trying to avoid it. A life of regrets from what “might have been” can be debilitating. Rest assured, however, that it is never too late. I don’t mean that as some kid of cliché, it’s true. As long as you have breath in you, you can set goals and accomplish them, you can become a better person, you can serve and contribute.
Don’t give up! I hope to see you around and reporting on your progress! 🙂
Everyone needs a little encouragement. The battle is really in the mind. I remember the phrase I read somewhere which says “You are only as good as you think you are.” every once in a while I watch a movie or listen to an encouraging song which lifts my spirit.
Being mediocre maybe safe and steady but every once in a while, I want to be the best.