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By anonymous

…cars in the slow lane are traveling the fastest; cars in the fast lane are traveling the slowest and cars in the middle lanes are always trying to exit.

…sandals are the best selling shoes.

…you have to ask for the uncensored version of Titanic.

…hotel rooms all have a copy of the Book of Mormon.

…you buy your wardrobe at the local grocery superstore.

…you learn about the LDS church by taking history in elementary school.

…you live in a state where democrats always come in third place unless a zoo animal is running, then they come in fourth.

…you take your computer to Fred Meyer for technical support.

…you live on Redwood Road, but there are no Redwood trees or any trees, for that matter.

…you're on your own if you are turning left.

…the local NBA team is named after the entire state instead of a city.

…schools stay open, even if two feet of snow falls overnight, but close for the opening of hunting season.

…people wear shorts and T -shirts if the temperature rises above 32 degrees.

…at least two of your salad bowls are at the homes of neighbors.

…you feel guilty for watching Monday Night Football.

…you were an aunt or uncle before the age of three.

…you think Jack Daniels is a country western singer.

…you make Jell-O without a recipe.

…you hear about BYU football in a testimony meeting.

…you believe you must be 18 years or older to order coffee at a restaurant.

…your kids believe that Deer Hunt is a national holiday.

…you have more raw wheat stored in your basement than some Third World countries.

…you have more children than you can find Biblical names for.

…you go to a wedding reception where the bride isn't pregnant, but her mother of the bride is.

…you measure your Kool-Aid by parts per million.

…”you're a 10 cow woman” is a compliment.

…your idea of a good time is playing Pictionary in the cultural hall.

…your known blood relatives make up more than half of your town.

…your idea of a wild party is a six pack of Pepsi and a PG-13 movie.

…your family considers a trip to McDonald's a night out on the town.

…the most popular public transportation system is a ski lift.

…you drive to Nevada to pick up a gallon of milk so you can play the lottery.

…the wedding toast is made with Y Sparkle.

…in-state college football rivalries are bigger than the Super Bowl.

…beer drinkers don't shop on Sunday.

…you don't have to breathe cigarette smoke until you walk outside a building.

…the cost of living rises while your salary drops.

…every driveway has a mini-van and a pick-up truck.

…when you buy a new vehicle, cigarette lighters are optional equipment, but gun and ski racks are standard.

…every time a new family moves into your neighborhood, the local elementary school has to hire a new teacher.

…temple recommends are acceptable identification for cashing a check.

…90% of the population was born in California.

…the July 4th celebration lasts 20 days.

…more movies are filmed in your town than in Hollywood.

…you've never had a missionary knock on your door.

…your neighbors complain about where they live, yet refuse to return to the perfect state from which they moved.

Alison Moore Smith is a 61-year-old entrepreneur who graduated from BYU in 1987. She has been (very happily) married to Samuel M. Smith for 40 years. They are parents of six incredible children and grandparents to two astounding grandsons. She is the author of The 7 Success Habits of Homeschoolers.