I’ve spent the past few weeks cleaning out my dad’s house, in preparation to sell it. When someone has lived 43 years in the same place, it gets filled with all manner of treasures (not to mention all manner of trash). Did I mention termites? Never mind.
Some of the more interesting things we discovered:
- Numerous stocks from companies that no longer exist (we’re rich! no we’re not!)
- Counterfeit confederate money (we’re rich! no we’re not!)
- A lock of my hair from second grade (holy cow—fireball red!)
- A handmade burnt orange/bright yellow quilt my parents got as a wedding gift (1956) that has never been used (because it’s burnt orange and bright yellow!)
- Macrame plant hangers (because the 70s weren’t bad enough the first time)
- Some kind of white nursing uniform from a medical uniform supplier — that is totally sheer (now that’s bedside manner!)
- Over 37 brand new vacuum bags, from four different vacuums — and one, bagless vacuum cleaner (you never know when you might really need a Eureka 4LD!)
- The top half of a bamboo steamer (because you might happen upon the bottom half at a rummage sale!)
- Almost 2,000 books (you thought we were bad!)
By the way, if I’m going for kinky medical wearables, I think I’ll stick with some hot pink scrubs or something equally benign. That’s my level of adventure.