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Very Bad Forks

[Whispered at maximum whisper decibels.]

Caleb: Mom! Mom!

[pause tugs on Mom’s sleeve]

Caleb: Mom! I have good new and bad news!

Mom: Really? What’s the good news?

Caleb: When you use a fork!

Mom: Oh! And what’s the bad news?

Caleb: When you don’t use a fork!

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