Top 5 Ways to Be Annoying This Christmas

You are the lucky beneficiaries of the purging of my hard drive. I did not write this. And even if I did, I wouldn't admit it.

  1. Hang a stocking with your roommate's name on it. Collect coal and sharp objects in it.
  2. Paint your nose red and wear antlers. Constantly complain about how you never get to join in on the reindeer games.
  3. Sing “All I want for Christmas is your two front teeth…”
  4. Make anatomically correct gingerbread.
  5. Smoke mistletoe. Do what comes naturally.