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Stay-at-home Moms Get No Respect!

I’m not exactly a retiring person. My mother used to say I had a “strong personality.” So, when it comes to life situations, I’m pretty up front. Still, I can’t seem to get anyone to take my life seriously. Especially at church.

I suppose lots of stay-at-home moms have this problem. “Oh, she’s home all day. She can do it.” And it’s true. Being home does give us flexibility to serve when others often can’t. But when one of us explains slowly and with the best enunciation that we have certain time constraints, why doesn’t anyone get it?

My friends who work outside their homes get all kinds of deference. They are assigned to visit teach women who can meet with them on their off days, or in the evenings, or on Sundays, or between critical meetings with VIPs, or just after they are dropped off by their private jet. They make sure their visiting teachers are made aware of their work schedule, can accommodate it, and will provide appropriate support with regular doses of chocolate. When service is requested, non-home work-load is considered before determining who receives the delegation especially when the assignment is to create pioneer themed place settings or make carrot cake entirely from dehydrated food storage items. (Yes, it’s true. No, don’t try it at home.)

But I’m really getting tired of trying to convince people that my life isn’t completely up for grabs, too. Yes. Really. Honest.

While my perfect life would be slightly less structured, I’ve found that homeschooling my six kids, taking care of my homemaking responsibilities, working (from home) in our company, running my own home business, doing public speaking, directing a choir, and serving in the church have required me to have a schedule. I’ve also discovered that if I don’t have a schedule about the only things that occur are necessary, life-sustaining bodily functions and even those are usually multi-tasking events. Everything else goes into the black hole of good intentions.

Thus, our family has scheduled all the things we really need to do. For example, we’ve scheduled our homeschooling every weekday until early afternoon. This is to ensure that our children can actually read and, perhaps, learn to write their names before they are legal adults.

If I taught public school, no one would question me.

“I work from 8:00 ?4:00 at The Little Pooper’s Preschool.”

“Oh, well then we’ll go visiting teaching at 5:00!” or “Then perhaps we can catch you in the evening?” or “Could you tell me when parent/teacher conferences are, so we can schedule board meeting around it?”

But since I teach my kids and work from home, the situation is slightly different.

“I homeschool my children every weekday, so I am available every weekday afternoon only after 1:30. I can also go Saturday or Sunday.”

“OK, so I set appointments for Thursday at 10:00.”

I explain before being assigned a companion and teachees. I explain when I am assigned to visit women who can only accept callers in the morning. I explain before the appointments are made. I explain after they are made at a time I just said I couldn’t go. I have rescheduled all the appointments myself at a time that was actually mutually agreeable. I have missed appointments that would have required me to leave my kids during our school time. I have even gone so far as to ask a repeat-offender-companion to reschedule all the appointments to any of the times I already carefully explained I was available.

The response to being insistent has ranged from anger (“I need a new companion, she can never go.”) to disbelief (“What do you do all day that keeps you so busy?”).

Yesterday I gave in and went visiting at 10:00. (The poor woman has only been cursed to be my companion for a few months, so we’re still in training.) Two appointments. One hour and forty-five minutes. I could have taken the boys, but doing so would have removed the “visiting” from the teaching and left me doing prevent-the-toddler-from-doing-serious-damage-to-valuables-and-knick-knacks-whilst-intermittently-tossing-out-a-kind-word-as-you-rush-past-the-hostess teaching.

So, I accommodated. I assigned Monica to play with the boys on the swingset for the first half hour. This unscheduled requirement replaced her piano practice. Second shift, Alana read stories and played with puppets in exchange for two pages of math. Belinda was supposed to help the boys with some artwork and critical thinking, respectively (in lieu of some work on Latin roots). She missed the hand-off, leaving the boys to eat the remaining chocolate birthday cake they found while foraging, empty the last intact roll of toilet tissue in the house, and hide all the (73,218) Playmobil pieces in various crevices in the house.

Caleb also managed to replace his denim shorts and manly t-shirt with a boa and one high-heeled shoe. The collateral damage today was very high.

I’m sorry if you find it obnoxious or self-centered. But I’m just not going to take it anymore. If you push hard, I’ll push back at you. I am strong and immovable. In a church where leaders sound the call for moms to stay home with their babies, you should have known I would. This home stuff is sacred. At least as sacred as selling real estate or processing insurance forms.

{ 28 comments… add one }
  • Sharilee10 June 15, 2007, 10:48 am

    Amen!! And well said–

    I volunteer with 10-15 different non-profit organizations, so I have LOTS of meetings and LOTS of deadlines and items on my To Do List. However, I always make it clear when they invite me to serve on yet another Advisory Board or Task Force that I remain an at-home mother for a reason and my children and their needs will ALWAYS come first. I am happy to serve if it works into my schedule. Sometimes people look at me like I’m crazy– after all– I’m an at-home mom with a flexible schedule. My most recent experience was when they asked me to be on the planning committee for a community built playground. After agreeing to be on the committee (after all– they won’t get ANYWHERE without the PTA) the fellow in charge said, “Well, good to have you on board. Get ready for the ride– it’s going to be a lot of work and a pretty intense year with lots of meeting.” I responded with, “I’ll be here whenever it works out in my schedule. I won’t be here the rest of the time.” He looked at me like I had just slapped him– but, hey, I had JUST finished explaining that EXACT concept to him! True to my word– I made an appearance at the BIG unveiling and then left after 5 minutes to take care of more important matters. Oh well— I warned him, as I do everyone. I do what I can when I can, but my family comes first. That’s why I don’t have a 9-5 by CHOICE!

    That said, I have to ackowledge that my ward members are very considerate of my time. Even when I do have plenty of time they shower me with words of appreciation for ‘all the great things you do!’ and offer to schedule their lives around mine. I think it might be the single mother thing. People are under the impression that being a single mom is really hard. Well— of course, it probably is– but when you compare it to what it was like parenting with what I was parenting with– THIS is a piece of cake with double layers of icing!

    K– the bathroom calls. My disinfectant is probably dried and I’ll have to spray again. Alas– the joy of having a flexible schedule! 🙂

  • east-of-eden June 15, 2007, 12:19 pm

    I don’t have kids, but I stay at home. People seriously think I sit and watch TV all day. They are surprised when I tell them most days I only turn the TV on when I go to make dinner, or when my husband comes home and wants to watch the s-news. I have a lot I do everyday. I don’t know how you ladies with kids fit it all in, but you have props from me! My mother, got alot of flack this year when she retired from teaching. Her co-workers could not fathom that she would have anything to do at home. When she listed all of her projects and things she wanted to do, they were in awe.

    I don’t know how to conquer the problem that society has of not placing value on the domestic arts and those who take the time to pursue them. As for your VT companion, just say no to 10am meetings. A few times of going alone and she should get it.

  • mlinford June 15, 2007, 12:37 pm

    I’m convinced you need to live in my ward for a while, just so you could see that there are actually reasonable people in the Church. With my three in three years, I spent the first five years asking for a night shift VTing route and got absolutely no flack on that whatsoever. And I wasn’t nearly as schedule-busy as you are. I just needed to go when hubby could watch the kids so I didn’t have that extra stress. I’m sorry your experience has been less than ideal.

  • Alison Moore Smith June 15, 2007, 12:38 pm

    Amen, Sharilee.

    Oh, eden, some of them never, ever get it. Like I said, I HAVE let them go alone, forced the issue and rescheduled,etc.. Next month, same thing.

    I think I found a solution, though. Yesterday, with all of us there, I got out my palm and found a regular, monthly time that we all agreed on. Yes, I got the “what do you do all day?’ question. So. 2nd Monday of every month in the afternoon, you know where I will be. (I’ll report the progress later.)

    That would have never worked back in Florida, visiting ten sisters, half of whom liked nothing better than to hide from us unless/until they needed a dinner. But with only two or three, I’m looking forward to it.

    BTW, as to how we fit it all in. Two things. (1) We don’t. (2) You get better at efficiency the more demands you have. I’m pretty sure I was more overwhelmed with my one child in a two-bedrooom apartment than I am with six children in an eight-bedroom house on five acres. At least sometimes. I think it was baby three or four that threw us the most. It was the switch from man-to-man to zone defense that we weren’t prepared for. 🙂

  • JustRandi June 15, 2007, 2:41 pm

    Alison, great article!
    I love my job as a SAHM, and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. However, I really do get tired of explaining that even though I can be flexible sometimes, this really IS my job, and I take it seriously. Because I have made life choices that afford me more flexible time than flexible money, people think I should accommodate their schedules, and their priorities.

    I want to say to people:
    “Look, the reason I am home is because I feel like it’s important for me to be home. If I get caught up in YOUR priorities, see, than I’m not really doing what I decided was most important.”

    And incidentally- even though my children are all teenagers, I still feel like it’s really important for me to be home. My preschoolers needed me home and it was very hands on with getting their drinks of water and reading them stories. My teens, on the other hand, need my presence in the house more than anything. Just having someone home, who notices if they are late and whether or not they had a bad day I think is invaluable. Sometimes people forget that these are not just small adults. They are bigger children.

    No, I can not go visiting teaching at 3:00 pm. That’s primetime where I work.

  • SilverRain June 15, 2007, 3:14 pm

    Alison – I have the exact same problem, reversed. This ward is incapable of dealing with those who have to be at work at a certain time. I’m to the point of asking to not be a visiting teacher any more. I CERTAINLY no longer wish to be taught.

  • PlaneJain June 15, 2007, 3:19 pm

    Alison, that situation of yours would drive me nuts. It sounds like to me that with your current companionship and teachees, you aren’t able to realize the blessings of that service. Have you tried asking your VT supervisor or the VT coordinator for a change to only women who work during the day (companion and teachees)? It seems that since you’ve tried every avenue, getting people who physically CAN’T be at home during the day might be the answer. (Getting them to make the change is another story, however.)

    I haven’t had the same problem, and I homeschool three and have two smaller children. Like you, I also work from home and time is at a premium. I think it’s because I’m the half of my companionship who makes all of the calls, and my companion has never actually visited with me (new baby, not really active, etc.). I’ve kind of been on my own for a while and it suits me just fine. It’s times and seasons, though, since I’ve taken my turn to ride the coattails of my companions. I hope the second Monday of each month works for you!

  • Alison Moore Smith June 15, 2007, 3:44 pm

    Silver, perhaps you and I should switch wards? 😉

    Jain, I had that “problem” the first couple of years I was here. In Florida I probably only had a companion for a year or two (out of ten). I kind of liked the one-on-one. I taught three or four women, but there were only two schedules to accommodate. I kind of like that model.

    Honestly, I think my ward leaders would switch me if I asked. I did have to explain one situation four or five times (I kept getting assigned to the same woman who could only meet at 10:00 am. I’d explain, they’d take her back off my list, then put her back on a couple of weeks later). It was kind of comical. Thing is, I don’t really want to demand a change. I want to keep working with whomever I am assigned. I’ve just decided that I’m going to be a bit more determined about my response.

    In my mind there is a valid purpose in blogs. It’s not ranting about programs, people, situations just to blow off some steam. I’m hoping, for example, that if any readers have been guilty of blowing off a stay-at-home mom’s time demands, they might take a second look at the situation. The fact that *I* determine my own schedule doesn’t make it less valid than one determined by a boss–and I’m hoping others will consider that. I’m also hoping that if other stay-at-home moms have felt that they had no right to have any input into when they do what they do (“Well, I’m just a stay-at-home mom, so I guess I can do it anytime.”), they will realize the value in their own lives.

    I do not believe any of my companions have been malicious. I do not think any of the leaders who assigned me to “day routes” were mean-spirited–not even those who did it over and over and over again. I do think it’s just something that doesn’t seem to be a priority, or at least my schedule is easily trumped by pretty much any other. I’m hoping to put in a word for “the other side” that will be considered.

  • daisy June 15, 2007, 9:13 pm

    Alison, you’ve just clued me in to one of the biggest reasons I gave up home schooling. I didn’t figure out to be firm about my homeschooling time. I was guilty of thinking like others that I could rearrange the schedule to fit this or that ,that always came up. I should have had more assertiveness training.

  • Oregonian June 16, 2007, 2:30 pm

    Hear, hear! (Or is it “here here”?) I have been in Silver’s situation, but more often the reverse Most of the women in most wards I’ve been in have worked. Maybe we just need to all be more sensitive of the other side.

  • spitfire June 16, 2007, 9:16 pm

    I live in a ward of all working women, some inside the home & some outside the home. I have also been the VT Coordinator thru 4 RS Presidents & know of the challenges facing all women today to sync their schedules to accomplish the least bit of service. Having worked outside the home x many years (can’t remember when I didn’t), I have often felt ostracized for working outside of the home, like I didn’t have a clue what was going on. Well, I didn’t b/c I wasn’t at home enjoying my son likes others had the opportunity to do. I was a single parent struggling to get by & you don’t know how I looked forward to having my VT come to provide even a moment of sanity in my insane world. I recognized the struggles they went through to accomodate my schedule & have always been grateful. I think we need to learn to meet each other in the middle. At the end of the day, I get paid to wipe butts & clean up after people (i’m a nurse). But you fine ladies are on 24/7 & I commend you for your strength & endurance!!! Today’s world is placing tremendous demands on women & mothers, I think we need to beware of how we choose to spend our time, the Advesary loves nothing better than a crazy, stressed woman who is running in circles attempting to accomplish the work of many. All of us need to to learn the art of politely saying “NO” and as well learn to listen when someone tells us “NO”…..

  • Sharilee10 June 17, 2007, 9:53 am

    But you fine ladies are on 24/7 & I commend you for your strength & endurance!!!

    We are ALL on 24/7, including you, Spitfire. And there is no one who is more aware of being on 24/7 than a single mother– many are as aware, but no one MORE aware. You are definitely a ‘fine lady.’

    the Advesary loves nothing better than a crazy, stressed woman who is running in circles attempting to accomplish the work of many.

    This is so true!! This is something I have to keep in mind constantly and remind myself if I see things starting to get out of hand. I love your advice to both learn to politely say ‘NO’ as well as liearning to listen. Communication consists of both talking and listening. Excellent Advice!!

  • Alison Moore Smith June 17, 2007, 11:56 am

    Posted By: spitfirethe Advesary loves nothing better than a crazy, stressed woman who is running in circles attempting to accomplish the work of many.

    I, too, loved this. And you know what? I think God loves nothing better as well. 🙂

  • Rachel June 18, 2007, 2:04 pm

    The presidency I was just released from had some serious working vs. stay-at-home issues. I was the only full-time sahm, and the president worked full time. The counselors were a very part-time nurse with a toddler and a single full-time working sister. My time was considered completely open because I “just” stayed home, right? My president had four kids, but didn’t seem to think anyone was as busy as she was, so I was given literally piles of work, and long lists of planning to do for her. Presidency meetings didn’t happen because it was too hard to schedule around all our different schedules, but when they were planned, it was always at a time that was inconvenient for me and the other young mom because we were the most “flexible” (meaning our bosses weren’t logging our time, so we could disrupt our families as much as we wanted). The other counselor showed up to one meeting in the whole year she was in her calling because it was too much to teach on Sunday twice a month, go to activities twice a month (!), and attend another meeting in a month on top of her job and taking care of her cat. (Please don’t think I’m bitter, I respect her in many ways, but this was a major cause of frustration for me at the time.)

    There was constant friction between the leaders that stayed home and the leaders that worked, particularly about workloads. The working sisters always seemed to think we could handle so much more, and that we liked to do planning and treats and crafty things because we were “homemakers.” And the working leaders acted put out when the one counselor took a few weeks away from YW after having a baby, or when I needed to skip activities to keep up with all “my” paperwork and planning for YW so I wasn’t away from my family so much.

    It would be wonderful if we could all come to a better understanding of one another. I do respect working sisters, and I think they have a great challenge to accomplish much in their at-home hours with their families. However, I also feel that they have a priveledge of being something other than “mommy” during the day, which is something I am, quite frankly, envious of. Not that it makes their lives easier, I’m sure it makes things more complicated. But I do hope that I will be respected for what I do even though it is “just” at home.

    Oh, I just had to share a comment the single sister who served as first counselor shared with me just after we were released. She was telling me how much she had enjoyed my last lesson and said that, “You are such a nice, quiet person and a good mom, I was surprised as you taught to see that there is much more to you than just that. You’re a smart girl!” Hahahaha, like being a young mom, and obedient LDS woman, I couldn’t be smart! (And, by the way, I’m not actually quiet, I thought that was pretty funny, too.)

    For the record, I took it wholeheartedly as a compliment, and told her how much I appreciated her seeing that in me. To be honest, I don’t know if people do see the woman I was before I was married and had kids; I was smart and a leader and had opinions, but I was also immature, and learned that by being thrust into home life. I do think there is still a glimmer of my old fire in me 😉

  • SilverRain June 18, 2007, 6:14 pm

    I also feel that they have a priveledge of being something other than “mommy” during the day

    How do I say this delicately . . . ? This “privilege” is why I’m having to deal with inner darkness I thought banished long ago. This “privilege” has sent me into indescribable emotional swings. I know if and when I earn the privilege to stay at home, it will be hard in many ways . . . but I’m dying from the weight of the hats I have to wear.

    Why, oh why, can we women not just simply be content in where we are?

  • agardner June 18, 2007, 6:50 pm

    When I worked full time, I could not wait to be able to stay home full time.

    Now that I am home full time, there are days when I just long to get back into the career and get a break. (Yes, I do think can going to work can be a break. It was for me, although I didn’t realize it at the time!).

    Guess the grass is always greener??

  • Rachel June 18, 2007, 7:53 pm

    I’m sorry Silver, I honestly didn’t mean to offend. I do think that’s all it is–the grass is always greener.

  • SilverRain June 18, 2007, 7:57 pm

    Oh, no . . . I wasn’t offended. I was just trying to point out the need to learn to be satisfied where one is. It’s just so hard when one doesn’t have control over doing something one thinks is wrong!

  • Ice Cream June 28, 2007, 11:55 pm

    My sister (homeschooling 4) is going through the exact same thing in her ward and neighborhood. She has 3 callings and visit teaches 7 ladies, and has been used as the neighborhood dog watcher, house sitter, and babysitter. I however (homeschooling 3 and public schooling 1) seem to be “suffering” the exact opposite in my area. No one will let me babysit, or bring their kids to my house (I swear we have good hygiene and are normal), or give me extra assignments, or anything. I raise my hand to volunteer and they say, “Are you sure? You have so much on your plate, we just don’t want to burden you”. Now, I’d much rather have it this way than your way, but I am also not rendered incompetent by my life. I will always say no if I can’t, but really I can do more than most think I can. I am impressed by your ability to keep at it and to stay firm about your responsibilities.

  • facethemusic June 29, 2007, 9:25 am

    I think part of this is that women have their own desires and personalities. Some women really LIKE to work. They enjoy it. It gives them a sense of importance and fulfillment, that for some reason they can only get outside of the home. Personally, I’ve never understood it, just beause I’ve never felt it and it’s totally opposite of myself. But I don’t think it’s wrong- just different. I think its personality thing, and possibly a matter of how we all grew up. My mother was an RN, but quit to stay home once she started having children. She loved staying home, (at least, I never KNEW of any desires to go back to work) and I believe that it influenced me. Who knows, I might have turned out the same way if she HAD worked, but it would seem silly to deny that her staying home had any influence in making ME happy to stay home. On the other hand, I had friends whose mothers worked, and now THEY enjoy going to work, even if only for a few hours. Many of them have stayed home, but they were happy to go back to work once their kids were in school.
    Me? I don’t mind the WORK itself, and I enjoy the banter with those I work with. But I don’t like HAVING to go work. I was SO glad when summer hit and I didn’t have to go to work! (I work with in the school district) And I’m NOT looking forward to going back once the fall semester starts! I’m actually dreading it.
    I NEVER planned on working. All I ever wanted was to be a stay at home mom. I never had ANY intention of ever going to work. I even didn’t think I’d work once all the kids were up an out of the house. I figured I’d be busy with church callings, volunteer work, going on a mission, etc.
    I honestly had no plans or intentions of ever getting a job once I married. I’d SO rather be home! And I only work 3 hours a day! 9-1pm. But that 3 hours makes a HUGE difference.
    I only have about an hour and a half to 45 minutes between the time I get off work and 2:45 when I have to start my rounds of picking up kids. It’s MUCH harder to get anything done– the errands, the housework, Visiting Teaching, stuff for my calling, etc when it has to be crammed into an hour and a half, than if I had the full 5 1/2 hours from 9am to 2:45.
    I can only imagine how much more difficult it is for someone who works full-time!
    When I homeschooled it only took until 1pm or so. Then I had until my husband got home around 5 to get all the other stuff done. And some of it I could do WHILE we were doing homeschool. (Run downstairs, put a load in the dryer while the kids are writing their spelling words in sentences, washing the dishes while the kids are reading outloud, etc)
    Going to work, and having to taxi kids back and forth to school has made things more difficult, and greatly reduced my time to do other things.

  • Alison Moore Smith June 29, 2007, 10:06 am

    Posted By: Ice Creambut I am also not rendered incompetent by my life.

    LOL Amen to that as well.

  • Alison Moore Smith June 29, 2007, 10:06 am

    P.S. I’m glad to hear about the hygiene! :thumbup:

  • Sharilee10 June 29, 2007, 7:54 pm

    But I don’t like HAVING to go work.

    That is what I LOVE about being involved in volunteer work. I love my associations and knowing that I am making a difference in the world and I am definitely one to be busy and involved. However, since everything in my life is done on a volunteer basis I never ‘have’ to do anything. I can schedule my life around the kids schooling and if something comes up that they need me even when I have a meeting I can put the kids first because everyone understands from the beginning that my kids are top priority.

    I have been spoiled– I know– and I am grateful for that. It has had it’s drawbacks and concerns (10 years to build retirement isn’t a long time!), but I always knew the Lord would provide, and that he has. I guess my biggest drawback at this point is that I’m never quite sure if I’m considered an at-home Mom or a ‘working’ Mom. Can you consider a Mom whose gone as much as the kids are an at-home Mom as long as she is ‘at-home’ when the kids are!?!

  • mlinford June 30, 2007, 7:15 pm

    Sharilee, I hope you were kidding, but labels really aren’t worth much. You are a mom doing her best like we all are, a mom who loves her children, loves the gospel, loves the Lord….

    I doubt there are many moms with children gone at school during the day who are home every day, all day. But why not just call yourself a mom> 🙂

  • Sharilee10 June 30, 2007, 7:29 pm

    And that I am– a Mom!!

  • mlinford June 30, 2007, 7:39 pm

    Like I said, I hope you were sort of talking tongue in cheek, but labels seem to me to often end up being useless means of dividing ourselves up, and I’m not a fan of that.

  • Sharilee10 July 1, 2007, 11:40 am

    My friend just sent me another email including some notes she had taken at Education Week. It had lots of interesting things in it, which I may post in the various threads where they fit, but I found this one interesting in lieu of the conversation on being shy. I don’t have an opinion– actually, that’s not entirely true. I have always felt that we and our children do come to earth with our existing personalities and the traits we had there. I have never really thought that much about it other than, but this does make sense to me now in that we come to earth with the personalities we had in the pre-existence, but it is still a choice to ‘choose to change’ that personality, even eons of time AFTER our original personality was developed through choice. Hmmm . . . interesting . . . but it does fit. I’ll have to think through this one. Anyway– here is what was in her EW notes:

    As a Man Thinketh, by James Allen, p. 105: Life is a creation and we get to create it. We say something like He ?s shy by nature. ? No, he ?s shy by choice. By nature, he ?s a child of God. God is not shy. Terri (the Speaker at the conference) was an introvert. She moved to a new high school and made an effort to become an extrovert. The common denominator between the two Terris was choice. She chose both. None of us has a personality! At least, not an encoded personality, but a developed personality, developed over eons of time.

    We do not have innate barriers. We can do anything if we pay the price. You have to follow the iron rod, step by step, to the Tree of Life They don ?t bring the fruit down to you!

    We do not need to be offended. Our reactions are our creations, also. Accountability or responsibility is a power, not a burden.

    We set our own temptation thermostat. If a temptation plagues you, it ?s because you allow your thoughts to dwell on it. Mostly, brothers and sisters, we become the victims of our own wrong desires. ? (Neal A. Maxwell, 1996 Conference Report)

  • Alison Moore Smith July 1, 2007, 12:31 pm

    I know well about the Terri situation. Like you said, Sharilee, you can’t imagine me being shy and reserved. I best most of the people here who know me in real life have at least a similar impression. I have had two very distinct personalities in my life. The second came, literally, overnight–although I promise you I had no idea that I had that power. One day, during my freshman year in college, I just decided I was utterly fed up with being the way I had always been. I just couldn’t stand me anymore. Instead of being reserved, fearful, self-conscious, and intimidated, I wanted to be outgoing, happy, confident, and popular. It was absolutely bizarre how easy it was to do.

    Posted By: Sharilee10We do not have innate barriers. We can do anything if we pay the price.

    This goes into the file of false, pithy statements. In an attempt at brevity and power, the truth disappears. It’s being picky about words again, and something I address briefly in one of my speeches. We simply DO have innate barriers. My husband can’t bear a child. I can’t give the opening prayer. :devil:

    There are also lots of other innate barriers that we all have that all the “paying of the price” cannot change. They have to do with physical difference, mental differences, factual information, etc. But the truth is that we don’t have nearly all the barriers we THINK we have. The problem is that since we KNOW that we have some barriers, it’s easy to confuse REAL barriers with those we have created. Unless we can distinguish between them, we won’t move forward on any of them, because it’s futile.

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