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Dealing with Negativity About Temples and Garments


Emily from Provo, Utah, wrote:

Hello sisters. I am going on a mission in March and just went through the temple a couple of weeks ago. I have some family and friends who aren’t very supportive and warned me all about it but I love the temple and I love my garments.

Dealing with Negativity About Temples and Garments

My problem is that my roommate is about to received her endowments (she is getting married between Christmas and New Year’s) and she is very negative about it. She wants to get married in the temple but she has heard the temple is sexist and she thinks the garments are dowdy and silly.

What can I do to convince her of the truth?

[click to continue…]


Cheerleaders and Other Moral Outrage

Yesterday a friend posted to Facebook so repulsed by the NFL that he was threatening to boycott football forever. Hey, I’ve got football problems of my own. I get it. Here’s how my friend reached the tipping point.

Cheerleaders and Other Moral Outrage

Last February, pro football player Ray Rice (for those of you living under the bleachers) whacked his “fiancée” in an elevator, watched her pass out and collapse, dragged her out of the elevator, kicked her about a bit, forced her to sit up while she regained consciousness, and then milled about with his buddies to make sure any and all witnesses were carefully paid off.

Cracking down on domestic abuse (as the NFL is wont to do), the Ravens suspended the abuser for…two…games. (That’ll show him!)

In order to protect herself and all other women from creeps like Rice, Janay Palmer married the dude, refused to press charges, and got all pissy about the media coverage. (Double show him!)

Or something.  [click to continue…]


Caleb (11): Mom, you know how people sleep for 12 hours and how people are ill?

Mom: Yes.

Caleb: Well when they first wake up their illness isn’t fully awake, so after they wake up their illness wakes up and then they remember that they are still sick.

That’s what happened to me yesterday.


The Very Best Thing About Women

One of the saddest Facebook status updates of the month (you know, after things like cancer updates, car accidents, ebola, world hunger, GoFundMe requests, and people uploading photos of their stitches) was this:

Nothing helps a women feel her best than [sic] a great pair of heels, a sexy dress, and flawless makeup.

That pretty much sums up my life value and mood litmus test. You, too?

All About That Base perpetuates stereotypesThe saddest part was that the near-middled-aged women who wrote it was utterly serious. Looking like a hottie is pretty much the #1 way for women to feel awesome.

Given that cute female fact, the latest feminist fad has been to prove that all of us are always hotties — no optic inequality here! — thus proving we all have (the only apparently available form of) female power.

We are hot; all is well with the world.

Not an Anthem

While in this pseudo-suffragette mode, Meghan Trainor released the latest body acceptance and self-love strain, All About That Bass. Other’s have called the catchy, torch melody a “feminist anthem,” but I keep wondering if any of them have actually listed to the lyrics.  “It’s All About That Bass” Is About the Same Old Stereotypes continued


Silliness has reigned for years. The General Relief Society Meeting and the General Young Women Meeting were considered far off appendages, only remotely related to General Conference. They were always held the week before General Conference, but weren’t really, completely, totally, fully part of the conference. Just kind of close by. Although the meeting was first chronologically, the proceedings were always stuffed to the back of the Ensign “conference issue.” (The Priesthood Session being placed third, as it occurred.) Showing once again the kind of, sort of conferenceness of the meeting for women, without confusing official status.

General Women's Session

Recently all the females ages eight and up were lumped into the General Women’s meeting but, still, not authentically General Conference, just conference-ish. Until this fall when Uchtdorf (almost, sort of) said it was. But then Eyring said it wasn’t. And then Carlson indicated it was. But the editors knew it wasn’t. [click to continue…]


Open About LDS Temple Garments

The Secret

When I received my endowments a week before my wedding in 1985 I was able to see the different styles and fabrics of the ceremonial robes. I was also able to try on all the various garment styles, as they had unmarked garments available.

Open About Temple Garments

By the time one of my daughters was married in 2011, this practice had stopped for some reason. Instead, selecting garments was a very expensive hit and miss prospect and was a frustrating situation for both of us.

In early 2013, another daughter was preparing to receive her endowments. We went to LDS Church Distribution located in the Deseret Book in south Orem. We stood in line to go to the private room to select her ceremonial temple clothing. Once it was our turn, the attendant asked her which style of veil she wanted. She asked what her options were. The woman began to describe the choices. I suggested that she take out a sample of each and just show them to my daughter so she could see the differences. The attendant informed me that since my daughter had not been endowed, she could not see the robes. She told my daughter to turn her back to us so that I could see them and describe them to her.

I noted that the robes are openly on display on the body of the decedent in every LDS funeral that has an open casket with an endowed member, but I was unable to change her position. Another odd moment in ceremonial clothing.

Snicker Sneer Sniggle

Let’s face it, when your religious vestment is underwear, it’s awkward. It paints a giant target on members for everyone from 5-year-olds through junior high bullies and up to adults who have no sense of decorum to aim at. (Which these days includes most of society.) So the constant ridicule about our “magic underwear” got old when I was prepubescent.  [click to continue…]



Mom: Caleb, do you remember what you’re supposed to do as soon as you get there?

Caleb (10): Sigh

Mom: Did you just say, “sigh”?

Caleb: Yes.

Mom: So, you didn’t actually sigh, you said the word ‘sigh’?

Caleb: Yes.

Mom: Why?

Caleb: Because if I just sigh, like this [heavy breath], you might just think I’m breathing. And I want to make sure you don’t just think I’m just breathing.

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General Conference Open Thread – October 2014

Please share your comments, insights, and favorite quotes below!


Time Bending for Mormons

For years I’ve been teaching organization seminars at conferences and conventions. One of the things I’m often asked is how I can do all the things I do. The question derives, I think, from two things:

  • I choose not to do lots of things most people do
  • I choose to keep very busy

Time Bending for Mormons

I have a real life friend who is also selective, busy, and entrepreneurial. Molly Christensen is a former Mormon Momma author. She is a homeschooling mom of seven (ages 3–20) who graduated from BYU in mechanical engineering. She has founded homeschool co-ops, taught classes (leadership, Latin, science, math, ACT prep, etc.), and dealt with familial food allergies. She currently co-mentors the Building Heroes Academy and blogs at Mentor Your Kids. (She’s offering some adult training courses that look really great.)

I love to learn new things and new techniques — particularly with regard to productivity — so this morning I attended a webinar she offered on time management. It was titled Use Your Super Powers: Time-Bending Webinar. Below are some thoughtful ideas that were particularly helpful to me. I’m not going to write a dissertation about them, just present them for consideration. Perhaps they will be useful to you as well.  [click to continue…]


I was honored to be able to watch the session with all four of my amazing daughters. Plus Wallaby’s BBQ. Much to love in this meeting.

#1 Diversity

I’m not a promoter of diversity for the sake of diversity. If something isn’t supposed to make a difference, making an issue of it forces it to make a difference. Besides, I don’t want true diversity. I don’t want an equal percentage of law-abiding people and criminals in my neighborhood, for one example.

Top 5 Things About the September 2014 General Women's Meeting

Maybe a better words is “variety.” Either way, it was wonderful to hear so many different languages, styles of dress, ages, homes, temples, and accents. It’s so much more interesting. More to the point, it is good to be unified in faith and cause with so many who are in such different circumstances.

#2 Humanity

In the 90s I read a biographical book about Marjorie Hinckley. She told a story of her husband as a boy using a bad word and having his mouth washed out with soap by his momma. Strangely, I rejoiced at the story. Hearing that even the prophet did really dumb, bad stuff was good to hear. It gave me hope.

Last night President Neill F. Marriot (if we call male counselor’s after the title of the office holder, why not female?) told about going to the temple to receive guidance about a problem. The answer was that she was sinful and needed to change. Rather than promoting the leadership idol worship Mormons are wont to engage in, she put herself squarely in the midst of the rest of us: an imperfect human being greatly in need of the Savior’s mercy.

A self-absorbed natural women is an enemy to God.

I can totally relate.  [click to continue…]