This morning as the buildings of Burbank got smaller and smaller, and turned from distinguishable landmarks to little specks on the larger landscape, I had an epiphany. This whole muddle of idiocy that we’ve been brainwashed to believe is “good” and “healthy” and “normal” is really a bunch of hogwash.
I hereby soundly reject the idea that parents should bear children and raise them, pouring in every ounce of their souls only to have them grow up and move on as autonomous adults, leaving their parents behind.
As soon as I stepped foot in my home upon return from leaving my first baby alone in California for the entire summer, I announced to my remaining children that it was the first and the last time I would do so. Never again will I permit my children to move completely away. It is just wrong.
Today I begin the arduous task of reprogramming my children to understand the truth. I’ll add on extra space for their spouses and children. And buy lots of cookies and chocolate. That should do it.