So, I am making guacamole. My hands are a mess and I am in the get it done zone. The fam is at a baseball game (all except baby and me) and that's when it happens. The baby needs me. Really? I just want to finish this one thing! He was being persistent, but I was up to the task. Then he got his finger stuck in the drawer. Stop. Take care of baby. Okay where was I? What? His finger is stuck again. Stop. Take care of baby.
Can you guess how the rest of my guacamole making went? It didn't matter that I tried to redirect him to his favorite toy. I even opened his favorite cabinet to empty and climb in. Nope, didn't care. He wanted me and wasn't going to stop sticking his finger in the drawer until he got what he wanted.
The thought crossed my mind. Is it possible for us to be addicted to sin because of how close we feel to the Lord during the repentance process? It does feel awfully good to have Him so near and feel His loving arms so powerfully wrapped around us during that time.
The next question would be, Is it possible for us to feel like that all the time without sinning? You bet. Maybe, if there were more time spent on seeking the Lord through obedience, with exactness, to His commandments and counsel, we would feel better more, and even, most or all of the time.
And then, there's another question: Is feeling good the same as having joy? I tend to think not, or at least I can think of a whole lot of things that “feel good” but are sins, and do not bring us anywhere near Christ. Maybe the distinction between feeling good in a tangible or stimulating way, and feeling good in a spiritual or peaceful way, is a better way to distinguish it. Such as, how you feel when you ask yourself the question, “Does this persuade me to believe in Jesus Christ.” (gleaned from, Moroni 7:15–17), and you can answer with a resounding yes. That feels good but there is nothing “earthly” about it, and it most definitely brings us closer to Christ. That joyful peaceful feeling offering you assurance that if Jesus was standing by your side you'd be 100% comfortable with what you were doing, and what you were thinking about. That's joy. That's peace. That feels really good.
Now, I am not suggesting that we stop taking our medications and attending counseling, recovery, and support group sessions. I am merely offering the thought that maybe we are all a bit more in control of things than we perhaps believe. Maybe, if we seek Him more, and in the best possible ways, the opportunities for sin, and desire for it, simply disappear. Maybe. One would hope they would at least be greatly reduced.
I did get to finish the guacamole, thanks. I am sure you were all in suspense about that. Rest easy, it was very good. I ate it as I typed this.