In light of the royal family of the United States of American demanding that we each figure out what our pledge to Barack Obama will be, I have spent much time pondering over my personal contribution to his administration.
While it is hard to top Demi Moore’s commitment to becoming President Obama’s personal servant while at the same time bringing about an abolition of worldwide slavery as a responsible citizen (or was it Courtney Cox or…), I can still participate in bringing about hope and change in some, small way.
For my president, Barack Obama, I pledge:
- To stand up for American values.
- To pay for all the electricity I use.
- To be a good person from the inside out, not the outside in.
- To drive only to those places I really, really want to go.
- To be more concerned about my children and future generations than about making myself feel good.
- To refrain from taking a private jet to the next Earth First rally I attend (or, perhaps, stay home)
- To put God first, not Mother Earth.
- To not follow the whims of popular fantasy at the expense of practicality.
- To increase the quality of intelligent life on this planet.
- To make an honest living.
- To promote personal responsibility.
- To value truth over political correctness.
- To teach my kids right from wrong.
- To teach my kids the difference between capitalism and socialism (see above).
- To give to charities I think are worthy with my own money.
- To protect unborn babies at least as much as I protect valley elderberry longhorn beetles and bonytail chub.
- To use plastic when it makes sense.
- To flush every time I use the toilet, no matter what’s there.
- To serve God and my country.
If you really want to see what progressives are pledging to their sovereign dictator, watch this. Consider yourself warned.