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Application to Date My Daughter

NOTE – This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, 4-generation group sheet, and current medical report from your doctor. Current temple recommend will be accepted as extra credit.

Name: _________________________ Date of birth: ________

Height: _____ Weight: _____ IQ: _____ GPA: _____

Social Security #: ___________ Driver’s License #: _________

Boy Scout Rank:_______________________________________

If less than Eagle, explain: ______________________________________

Home address: ________________________________________________

Work address: ________________________________________________

Wage or salary: _____________________

Do you have one male and one female parent? Yes _____ No _____

If no, explain: _______________________________________________

Number of years parents married: _____

Check all that you own:

a van _____

a truck with oversized tires and/or camper shell _____

waterbed _____

motorcycle _____

Check all that you have:

color-altered hair _____

tatoo _____

piercings _____

(Note: If you checked any of the above, discontinue application and leave premised immediately.)

Please enclose answers to the following essay questions on separate paper, typeset in 10 point helvetica, single spaced, three-page minimum.

What does late ? mean to you?

What do the words do not touch my daughter ? mean to you?

What does abstinence ? mean to you?

What ward do you attend? ________________

How often do you attend? _____/week

When would be the best time to interview your father, mother, and bishop?

Fill in the blanks: Please answer freely all answers are confidential.

A women ?s place is in the _______________

The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is

_________________________________________________________

When I first meet a girl, the first thing I notice is _____________________ (Note: If the answer to the above is covered by a Victorian Era swimsuit, discontinue and leave the premises immediately. Keeping your head low and running in a serpentine fashion is advised.)

What do you want to be IF you grow up? _________________________

Do you plan to attend a BYU, BYU-I, or BYU-H? _____________

I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, AND RED HOT POKERS.

________________________________________________

Signature (that means sign your name)

Thank you for your interest. Please allow four to six years for processing. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write (such action will void this application). If your application is rejected you will be notified by two beings wearing red suits and carrying pitch forks. (You might want to start praying now).

{ 11 comments… add one }
  • Oregonian May 2, 2007, 12:00 pm

    That was so funny! Was this on the other site? I never saw it.

  • Alison Moore Smith May 2, 2007, 1:36 pm

    Yes, it was. But I think the dynamic nature of the new pages will make things easier to find.

    I love it, too. I have four daughters, so the screening process is a very serious issue. 🙂

  • ChanJo May 2, 2007, 6:22 pm

    Hah! Where are the smilies! I need them.

  • zmg May 3, 2007, 10:02 am

    That was great. I can definitely relate. LOL

  • Eugene March 22, 2011, 11:17 am

    OK, I must say, this is original… But I have 2 questions to ask you:
    1. What ever happened to “love”?
    2. Doesn’t your daughter have a say in who she dates?
    But I must give you props for originality.

  • Shiva March 22, 2011, 10:55 am

    Please allow 4 to 6 years for processing ha ha…that seems to sound like and endless wait 😛 lol..BTW what will you be using to process the application
    Shiva recently posted…Free And Premium WordPress Link Cloaking PluginsMy Profile

  • Alison Moore Smith March 22, 2011, 5:40 pm

    A crossbow. 😉

  • Alison Moore Smith March 22, 2011, 5:43 pm

    Eugene, it’s parody. Mostly.

  • William Wright March 22, 2011, 6:57 pm

    Lol, at first I thought it was completely serious.
    William Wright recently posted…Why is manga generally better than animeMy Profile

  • Christina Concepcion May 16, 2012, 7:36 pm

    Hahaha! Thank you very much for the good laugh! On the lighter side, this application letter is very tempting hahaha!

    Thanks again!

    Tina =)
    Christina Concepcion recently posted…Spicy Kung Pao ChickenMy Profile

  • Roberto April 3, 2019, 3:52 am

    Ha ha ha! That’s so funny. Thanks a lot for making me lough.

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