I’m a pasty white, college educated, middle class, conservative American. Right up at the top I acknowledge those facts disqualify me from having an opinion about anything.
I am, however, a woman and someone who has experienced hair prejudice. In addition I am 50, taller than average, heavier than a plus-size model, and Mormon. Given those inherent injustices and inequalities, perhaps I will be allowed to use my brain on a matter in which I am not personally involved, yet still concerned.
With that said, I will cautiously proceed.
The Guilt Guidelines
The progressive guilt assuagement pattern is a variant of “symbolism over substance.” It goes something like this:
I feel bad that I have more money or resources or education or comfort or food or whatever than others.
I don’t like to be uncomfortable because of these feelings.
I don’t want to sacrifice my own lifestyle or resources in order to solve the problems over which I feel such shame. (“Shame” being one of my top 100 favorite words of all time.)
Therefore I will promote legislation that redistributes primarily someone else’s resources toward the cause I “care” so much about.
In doing so I feel better.
Whether or not the legislation actually solves the problem or serves a real purpose isn’t relevant—and I refuse to discuss that aspect rationally—because I have done “my part” and therefore am absolved of guilt. And my guilt it what matters.
If anyone tries to rationally discuss the efficacy of my guilt-resolving legislation—perish the thought—I will use my best ad hominem to beat them to a pulp. (Long experience shows that terms that end in -ist and -phobe have the highest probability of shutting down all discussion immediately!)
This isn’t the post I intended to write this weekend. But something happened that pushed it forward.
The discussion on my recent post Mother: Where Art Thou? took an interesting, but familiar, turn. I intended the post to be mostly a personal expression of how I hoped for more knowledge about my Heavenly Mother and to support Julie de Azevedo Hanks’s music reflecting that goal. But (predictably, I suppose) it has become mostly a discussion of whether and why learning about Her matters at all.
It’s a typical pushback among Mormons. It always looks something like this, “Why are you making a fuss? If the church doesn’t already have it, the church obviously doesn’t need it. If the church needs it, it already has it and you are just too stupid to see it. If the church is lead by prophets and apostles of God, it’s just how it should be.”
Kind of like, oh, the filthy school of the prophets. That presumptive, treacherous Emma, who had to get all up in Joseph’s face about it. As if he didn’t have that whole Word of Wisdom thing already worked out in the Lord’s proper time. [click to continue…]
Proving again our oddity, Mormons proudly proclaim an acknowledged—but sparse—doctrine of Heavenly Mother. While the thought of a Heavenly Father without a corollary Heavenly Mother “makes reasons stare,” we spend most of our church lives behaving as if she isn’t there. And if she is there, well, she’s auxiliary.
We are daughters of our Heavenly Father, who loves us, and we love Him…
All true, but of all church programs, isn’t Young Women one place where we could—and should—explicitly acknowledge that we are also daughters of a Heavenly Mother, that she loves us, that she was a co-creator of our spirits, that we are created in her image? [click to continue…]
Recently I’ve seen flurry of sharing of a Valerie Jarrett promoted piece of foolishness. Propagandize government enforced perks and progressives clamor to get on board. Publicize perks for doing nothing—with eeeeeevilllll businesses footing the bill—and they will practically hyperventilate.
According to the fallacious video “The United States is the ONLY developed nation WITHOUT paid maternity leave.” Compare that American wasteland to the lustrous and caring Germany—where new mommies get 14 weeks off with full pay— and it’s apparent that we have it bad here in the suckland of the world.
First, let’s be clear that there is tons of maternity leave (including paid leave) in the U.S. of A. It’s just not mandated by the government. You aren’t “entitled” to it (yet) just because you have the ability and wherewithal to conceive a child.
Second, in the U.S. both business owners and employees have (some measure of) freedom. If you want a job that provides 14 weeks of paid maternity leave (read that: 14 weeks that the company has to pay you for not working, just because you want something for nothing—because womb), here are your options: [click to continue…]
As a blogger and homeschooling mom of six, managing my time is paramount. As someone who loves organizing and planning—unfortunately sometimes more than actually doing the things I’ve organized and planned—I know the value of creating a schedule that will motivate action rather than just look pretty on paper. (Full disclosure: I have Gantt charts to track my kids homeschool work from kindergarten through high school graduation. Yes, I do.)
In spite of my obsession, I’m not a stickler for very specific routines. Life ebbs and flows and urgencies arrive daily (sometimes hourly). Being able to accommodate those things is as much a part of planning as anything. But having a general framework around which to manage the various moving parts of life is very helpful for getting things done. The best routines are designed to fit your circumstances, personality, family, resources, and goals. The right routine is the one that works for you, motivates you, and takes you where you want to go in your life. Your goal is progress, not stagnation or regression, with a personalized routine.
If you’re wondering how you can squeeze more of the best things into your days—while still accommodating the necessary and mundane—here are some resources for consideration. I’ll leave my general weekday schedule at the end of the post for your consideration.
A social media conversation today started with this:
Is there a meme for Men Explain Mormon Doctrine? If not I propose that should be a thing—the tendency for, whenever a woman expresses concerns with some part of Mormon doctrine and culture, some dude to rush in to reassure her that it’s all okay and and then proceed to lay out his entire vision of Mormon Doctrine as though she’d somehow never heard any of it before.
Predictably, it took just a few minutes for someone to use the word mansplaining to label this phenomenon. And then the revelrous sniggering began. Because, you know, never let a serious male mocking opportunity go to waste.
The term has popped up in hundreds of LDS discussions—mostly surrounding gender issues—the past couple of years. It’s garnered more overexposure than Hillary Clinton. For those of you who have been spared inundation with the vacuous descriptor, you may have reamined blissfully unaware of this critical conversational term. For you, here is the definition: [click to continue…]
I’ve written aboutRobes before. He comes up in blogging and social media and conversation regularly. My kids who were too young or unborn during the Boca Raton days know his story. Or at least how his story intersects with ours. All my close Utah friends know him by name, even though they never met him. He’s just one of those guys. And not because he died too soon, just because of who he was and, I’m sure, still is.
18 years ago this week a bunch of friends attended our monthly GNO dinner. On the way home Sue, Patti, Kim, and I talked in the car. Kim was worried about Robes’ upcoming MRI. He’d been having odd, inexplicable symptoms for a while. We were sure the procedure would just rule out anything really bad.
A couple of days later, Robes called to ask me to speak in Sacrament Meeting on the upcoming Easter Sunday. (He also happened to be our bishop, but we could only call him “Bishop Patton” either when the stake president was within earshot or when we wanted to annoy him. (The latter being a not unfrequent occurrence, in retrospect.))
As a child I poured over my parents copy of The Devil’s Dictionary. The older I got, the more of its humor I understood. I felt so smart with each new enlightenment.
Now, thanks to one-time (well, really eight-time) Mormon Momma author Janiel Miller, we have an LDS version for your amusement. Introducing the one, the only Mormons Say and Do the Darndest Things.
Janiel is a gifted humorist in the very best Erma Bombeckian styling. She’s clever, witty, and endlessly (did you read that Janiel?) self-abasing. The last serves her writing, but doesn’t match the person. She has every reason to be arrogant, but instead she’s lovely inside and out.
I was delayed in my efforts to review the book because my sons (ages 11 and 14) kept sneaking off with it. They would show up at lunch or dinner with a bit to share. Usually it was something like “Fear Not the Apocalypse, for I Have Beans” (because beans in any context is unquestioningly hilarious) or the definition of apple beer (because beer in any context in unquestioningly hilarious, as in, “Hey, mom, can I have some beer. … I mean root beer? Hahahahahahaha bwahahahahaha”). [click to continue…]